Monday Morning Quarter-Baking: Lunchables

By J. Goodman

Remember Lunchables? Me neither. Growing up we didn’t get Lunchables. We had a brown bag with a pack of Sunmaid raisins, a juice box and a sandwich like peanut butter and jelly, cream cheese and jelly or turkey and cheese…and jelly.

Now, I’m older. I usually don’t pack a bag lunch. Instead, I spend close to $10 a day for fancy sandwiches called paninis, Indian buffet, Thai lunch specials, or if I’m in a pinch chicken and rice from a food cart. It’s cooked on the street by a guy without gloves (who also handles the cash barehanded) and it’s $5 so you know it’s good.

Spending $10 on shitty food is not what we were meant to do (as humans). If I had the time, I’d go back to those old school sandwiches. All I need is time. You see, no one wants to make a PB & J the night before. With the peanut butter and jelly chilling into a hardened mass. The bread all cold and overly chewy. It’s not ideal. While, in the morning, you’re too busy doing other things like watching TV, skimming your Facebook wall, crying alone in the bathroom, doing anything to postpone heading into the office.

There has to be a better way.

There just HAS to!

And there is.

It’s called Lunch in a Loaf (trademarked)!

What’s Lunch in a Loaf? I’m glad you asked. Take that PB & J, now slam and smash it all together until it’s an amalgamated mass. One huge loaf of PB & J goodness, swirled together like some kind of bready Ben & Jerry flavor. Also, we make it so it’s perfect at room temperature. Personally, I am against preservatives and chemical agents of any kind, but if that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes.

Okay, so it’s the morning and you’re getting ready for work. What are you going to make for lunch? Lunch - it’s only a few hours away and you’re already feeling the hunger. You need something homemade (so it’s healthy and you can save money) and you need it fast because you’re already running late. You have absolutely zero time to pull 2 slices of bread out of the bag, knife the PB over the bread and spoon some J on as well, mush the two slices together and throw it in a Ziploc (or wrap it in some Reynold’s). That would take forever.

With Lunch in a Loaf (LIAL) you just cut off a slice of the loaf and BAM! PB & J like you’ve never had before and will never not want again!

It’s time to take back our bagged lunches!

LIAL comes in 4 great, amazing flavors:

• PB & J
• Turkey and Cheese
• Tuna Salad, and
• Leftover Chinese Takeout (with Real Rice!)

The next time you need a healthy, homemade lunch in no time, choose Lunch in a Loaf.

You’ll loaf it!