/soc/ - Worst Board on the Internet - /soc/ turns 18 — Ultimate Whore Slag Bitch Cunt Delicious Firebush Puddems Sells Body For Money, Breaks e-Boyfriend Ed’s Heart

/soc/, the Social board on 4chan, is the single worst board in the anus of the interwebs, a cancerous sore filled with attention whores, floods of desperate men ready to pounce at the first female they see, rate-me threads that range from the anatomical (dick threads) to the oddly specific (husky Mexican dick threads), to tripfag clusterfucks of backpatting and reach-arounds. We chronicle the madness of The Worst Board On The Internet.

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August 8, 2012

/soc/ turns 18 — Ultimate Whore Slag Bitch Cunt Delicious Firebush Puddems Sells Body For Money, Breaks e-Boyfriend Ed’s Heart

SKYPESVILLE, THE INTERNET — Darling dove, pudding pop, soulmate, and sweet little girl turned whoremobile cuntface slagtits teenyboppertramp gingervag infection-o-maker Puddems is now selling her lithe teenage body in the most heinous and sinful ways, reported Worst Board editor and ex-boyfriend Ed on Friday.

The disgusting whore declared her interest to cam for money in a Friday SMA thread she posted in.

She is known to drop in and out of SMA threads, causing mass neckbeard masturbation frenzies in one post.

In an exclusive interview with Worst Board, Puddems revealed that in the first day of her camming she performed an estimated fifteen shows from 11pm to 6am, making several hundred dollars and letting approximately 1.5 trillion sperm die agonizing tissue deaths over the seven hour period. The International Criminal Court responded to Worst Board reporters saying, “We’re still investigating if this is tantamount to genocide charges. But this is incredibly unprecedented — you can quote us on that.”

Sources state that Puddems charges by the minute, negotiating payment and camshow length before beginning the Skype videochat. She acknowledged that her operation was strictly independent.

An SMA contemporary of the firecrotched slag, speaking off the record, said that Puddems’ rate was similar to what she charged when she had briefly dabbled in paid camwhoring.

Puddems, 18, is perhaps the most famous camwhore in the world, with a fame that transcends /soc/ and 4chan entirely. A recent July study by the Copenhagen-based Worst Board Institute for Curated Masturbation Studies (I-CuMS) estimated that up to nine hundred million people have masturbated to Puddems.

Notable for her acrid and painfully staged e-personality, Puddems had previously been in a semi-public relationship between 2003 to 2012 with the stunningly handsome Worst Board editor Ed, who she had called ‘Daddy’, breaking up with him sporadically only when she felt the need to anally copulate with various household objects.

Heartbreakingly, the Skype account she uses to commit these horrible sins was the Skype account created by Ed for the purposes of their bad romance. Cryfapping will commence in 3… 2… 1… premature ejaculation!