God, it has been such a strange 24 hours.

1. I set an alarm for 4:53 AM last night and fell asleep wearing my formal meeting dress. We did not wake up until 6 AM. You got home safe. The explosion on campus did not cancel my 9 AM class. I regret drinking that bottle of wine. Actually, I don’t. The wine was nice. You are, too.

2. I had to look up on Urban Dictionary whether or not “I love you” meant the same thing in the UK as it does here in the US. It does. That was a stupid thing to look up on Urban Dictionary. You said you love me and I said “:).” I felt stupid using an emoticon to respond but I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t want to get on Skype because I am so not ready to have this conversation internationally. I asked you what use being in love was when I might never see you again. I listened to the song you sent me six times.

3. Instead of dinner, I asked if we could move our date to Taco Tuesday and hang out with 15 of my closest friends. I didn’t think I wanted to date you. But I was wrong. You were very sweet, more handsome than I remember, and we both like Blue Moon. You texted right after you left. I didn’t use any emoticons to respond.

4. I almost forgot that I am so close to not loving you. I was being so good, and today, I almost forgot and ruined everything, I almost ruined all the above, 1-3. But I looked at my phone after I fell asleep on it for 11 minutes and remembered that I worked very hard to ensure I would never fall asleep waiting for your apology again. I woke up and brushed my hair and my teeth. I put my phone on my nightstand. I opened a book. Not a single character is you.