We Need to Talk about Beyonce
It was recently brought to my attention that I love Beyonce. My friends and I were going through our Top 25 played tracks and nearly half my list was taken up by B’s B’Day. It was a serious moment of reflection as the rest of the day was spent trying to crash listen to songs on repeat to mask what I didn’t realize was a thing. “When the fuck did I listen to this album 12 times in a row?” It wasn’t just “Freakum Dress” or “Get Me Bodied” or “Suga Mama” - it was the whole Goddamn album. As if I was some sort of B’Day fiend.
I admire Beyonce quite a bit. I think she’s actually got the talent and makes her voice continually work for the changing definitions of popular music. She also seemed to emerge from the child abuse necessary to make her as successful as she is - running and singing in order to practice your breathing, because your untrained dad thought it was necessary. I give her some crazy buffer because of that episode of Behind of Music: Destiny’s Child. They made it seem real cool, but that shit was cutthroat. Beyonce is like the Bette Davis of Pop Music - she’ll cut a bitch…and I like that.
When B’Day came out everybody was talking about the fact Beyonce had just come off of Dreamgirls with so many emotions, locked herself in the studio, and came out three weeks later. There was talk specifically about “Ring the Alarm” being about Jay-Z’s fuckery with Rihanna. She denied it, claiming it was all drawn from her role…as a real successful singer who marries a real controlling dude…who wants to manage her image…and cheats on her (I don’t remember, but I’m pretty sure that happens).
Girl. We get it. Jay-Z’s a snake.
Sporadically, we get more surprises. Like this surprise video for a surprise single that wasn’t really put on anything…
I mean, maybe it’s PURELY fictional, because they don’t have a dog.
The most recent surprise was released in the middle of the night and the world was aflutter of with excitement. Here’s my track by track commentary.
1. “Pretty Hurts”
Alright, I get it. Beauty standards are absurd. I just ate half a medium cheese pizza, so I’m definitely on board the “let’s just be us” campaign.
2. “Haunted”
Beyonce is haunted by a bunch of things…unfair labor practices, somebody being onto her, and that one time she won an award and they couldn’t pronounce her name.
I don’t really know what this song is about, but I’m pretty sure I’ve just been GOOPED
3. “Drunk in Love”
This is literally about B getting drunk and in love. Pretty sure she’s singing about how drunk she has to get to fuck Jay-Z. It’s awkward because Jay-Z comes in and raps about cake and having her breasteses for breakfast. NO THANKS. Get a bagel, Sean.
4. “Blow”
It’s been 10 years…how excited about blow jobs can you get? I’m beginning to think this is becoming a Real Housewives affair - we’re getting into a “trying too hard” territory.
UNLESS, this is not about Jay-Z and she’s just made and released this song about getting super fucked by some other dude. THUMBS UP ALL AROUND IF THIS IS THE CASE.
5. “No Angel”
Neither she nor the person she addresses, who always comes home late and is a liar…are not angels. She says something along the lines of under this pretty face (WE GET IT, B, YOU’RE B-EAUTIFUL) is a complicated woman - that’s usually what crazy girls say. No T. No Shade.
6. “Partition”
More about fucking. Jesus
"He Monica Lewinsky’ed all on my gown. Poor daddy, daddy didn’t bring a towel."
This is my favorite song ever in the history of songs.
There remain hints of whomp whomp where she references wanting to be the type of girl he likes - which marks her as somebody different, in the sense she is performing an act so he’ll blow a load on her - romance.
7. “Jealous”
Cooked dinner, but somebody’s late.
She’s not even hiding behind metaphors and similes - she’s throwing around exes from Texas.
GET A DIVORCE. You could do better.
8. “Rocket”
More fucking. There’s shit about peaks and rivers flowing.
And in case you were wondering, rockets are about that D
9. “Mine” ft. Drake
NEXT
10. “XO”
Begging to be loved as much as she loves the person she is addressing…
11. “Flawless” ft. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
The incorporation of Adichie’s work is interesting, considering it’s about the social construction of gender and the ways in which women are encouraged to subject themselves to men. A large portion of this sample is about marriage and how women are taught to honor and obey their husbands as opposed to men who are not encouraged to do much of anything.
12. “Superpower” ft. Frank Ocean
Despite all of the above: the lack of respect, implications of cheating, not giving a shit, possibly fucking other people, finding pleasure in hurting each other, B is convinced they are better together than apart.
barf
13. “Heaven”
It sounds like she regrets murdering somebody? Did she throw somebody from a roof? IS THIS SECRET ALBUM JUST A DETRACTION FROM MURDER!?!?!
14. “Blue”
The only thing holding B together is her daughter…
Blue is the only one invited to the divorce party
Final thoughts asBrit Brit’s Britney Jean starts…
I can see why B released it in the middle of the night. Even if completely falsified, it comes off as a type of confessional. While Jay’s out in BK playing, B is clicking send on iTunes. People are also so hyped on the surprise, nobody seems to actually be talking about the content. I tell you, some Bette Davis shit.
It is at times uncomfortable to listen to as much of it comes across as a woman desperate to regain her sense of self in light of her partner’s lack of appreciation. The inclusion of blow jobs, skittles, and Lewinsky’s is offputting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about people fucking and talking about it, but nothing about how she sings about sex seems pleasurable. It’s the same way Girls represents sex - for the pleasure of somebody else. Even when she references her own pleasure it is couched in the language of pornography - of how good he is, how great he feels, about how much pleasure he gives her. Alongside lyrics saturated with loneliness, nostalgia, bitterness, reclamation, settling - it takes twists the potential sexiness of those jams into sad ballads of what she is willing/what she wants. One lyric from jealous references her pulling out her freakum dress from the closet to try it on in an attempt to figure out what is wrong with her for her to be alone. I know some folk will probably cry “poor little rich girl,” but no matter what your social status, that’s a heavy fucking moment.
I really hope those kids work it out or she gets the fuck out. Oh man, I have no idea what B’s dating life would be like, but I’m excited at the potential. Part of me hopes she just remains celibate until 56, meets a 30 year old Italian man named Paulo, they date for 20 years, and have an April wedding in Nice.
