some tiny-titted binch: don’t wear bras let your titties live!!!!! i never wear bras!!!!!!!!!
me, a godless titty goblin, made of 90% titty: i haven’t taken this bra off for forty years
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#bravissimo #BRASSo, for the longest time, I had “I’m an ugly fat girl” syndrome (let’s keep in mind that I live in Malaysia, and am a giant among my extended family, and was also extremely sedentary throughout adolescence due to certain tween traumas, so my ugly fatness is relative for those who are larger than me). I could only get clothes and bras that were considered left overs, or… from the maternity section (I said it, oh god FUCKING DAMN IT ASIANS).
Right now, since I stopped running post-Ramadan (froze my gym membership since Ramadan, really, and it’s not logical to unfreeze since I’m leaving shortly) and, um, Eid happened (LOOK IT’S IN OUR CULTURE TO EAT, EVEN IF I EAT SMALLER PORTIONS ALL THAT SHIT IS GOING TO SEND ME TO A DELICIOUS EARLY GRAVE CONSIDERING THE RICHNESS AND CHOLESTEROL AND SUGAR) I’m actually at the heaviest I’ve ever weighed, which simultaneously FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT, but since I had been running quite regularly for 2 months prior to this, I know I can get this under control.
Anyway, this isn’t a fitness post. This is a WAIT I CAN GET PRETTY BRAS AND SWIMSUITS IN MY SIZE??? post.
LIKE, GIRLS WHO THINK “oh i am fat and ugly” won’t even consider buying cute undies because they don’t even want to look at their body. But now I’m like YOOOOO I WANT TO WEAR CUTE THINGS UNDER MY CLOTHES TOO.
(My boob shape is lotus, but hangs like apricots and wow I sound like a tree)
SO I FINALLY MEASURED MY BRA SIZE ACCURATELY.
(WHO KNEW I WAS A 36DDDD/36G/36F?? I DIDN’T. I’D BEEN BUYING 40C/D FOREVER AND USING THE LAST HOOK, SO MORE THE FOOL ME.)
AND FOUND OUT THAT IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO GET BOOB-CLOTHES IN THE UK.
UK THANK
I WANT TO GET THESE:
{Bras}
SO I MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO SHAKE OFF MATERNITIES BUT THIS BRA IS RLY CUTE OK
THIS TOO SHH
I AM GOING TO SPEND A DAY UNCLOTHED SO EVERYONE CAN SEE HOW FUCKING GORGEOUS THIS FUCKING BRA IS
ALSO I NEED TO OWN THIS BRA RIGHT FUCKING NOW I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM NOT IN THE UK RIGHT NOW
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
I WASN’T AWARE MY BOOBS COULD BE WEARING SOMETHING SO CUTE
WAIT WAIT I COULD BE WEARING FLAMINGOES ON MY BODY?
I AM A BIG SLUT FOR LACE AND THIS SET JUST MASHES ALL MY BUTTONS
OHHHH MY GOD HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THAT
MATRYOSHKA????????????
MATRYOSHKA!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Shock Absorber Ultimate Run Bra)
I’m in the DC fandom. I DON’T THINK I CAN EMPHASISE HOW IMPORTANT SPORTS BRAS AND BINDING ARE FOR ACTIVE MOVEMENT. I’M NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT ACTUAL BOOB SIZES FOR HEROES AND REAL LIFE ATHLETES. THEY (SHOULD AND DO) BIND FOR A REASON.
HEAVY BREASTS BEING JERKED AROUND IS A CIRCLE OF HELL I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE, POSSIBLY ON PAR WITH GETTING YOUR NUTS KICKED IN FOR THE DUDES OUT THERE.
DUDES, IMAGINE RUNNING WITHOUT BRIEFS. NOW IMAGINE YOUR NUTS ARE THE SIZE OF SMALL TURKEYS, AND ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO HURTLE THEMSELVES AWAY FROM YOUR BODY. IMAGINE THAT PAIN.
IMAGINE IT.
{Swimsuits}
THIS SWIMSUIT WILL NOT ONLY SUPPORT MY CHEST-TURKEYS, IT WILL ALSO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A BOND GIRL. A BOND GIRL WHO MURDERS PEOPLE. MURDERS PEOPLE WITH A GARROTE.
WAIT, UNDERWIRE? DID YOU SAY UNDERWIRE? I FUCKING HEARD YOU SAY UNDERWIRE.
While I may not necessarily be a fan of bikinis that look like bras, I AM A BIG FUCKING FAN OF PATTERNS AND OH MY GOD
THE GREEN AND THE PATTERNS I JUST
I ADMIT THIS IS ON THE LIST BECAUSE I OCCASIONALLY LIKE TO DREAM
(Pour Moi? Underwired Halter Swimsuit)
WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THIS WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THIS AVAILABLE IN MY SIZE WHY
OH SHIT THAT IS SO CUTE
WOW LIKE FUCK OFF
{Bonus: Stuff I can’t own due to borders/sizing/availability}
NO ONE REALLY UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS
{Conclusion}
I obviously can’t get everything on this list (THE EXCHANGE IS GBP1 = MYR5. MULTIPLYING EVERYTHING BY 5 IS ESSENTIALLY GOING TO KILL ME ON THE INSIDE UNLESS I AM EARNING IN GBP) but one day, I am going to completely replace my underwear drawer with only cute things and no one will know about my chequered, boring, maternity history.
nothingbutthedreams replied to your post: I have just discovered that my left boob is bigger than my right boob
Same here, it’s annoying when trying to find bras, although bra shopping’s annoying anyway.
sigh bras are a necessary evil
They are only justified when you have to do things like run and jump and climb trees and helicopters except not helicopters
some tiny-titted binch: don’t wear bras let your titties live!!!!! i never wear bras!!!!!!!!!
me, a godless titty goblin, made of 90% titty: i haven’t taken this bra off for forty years
‘the average woman owns 16 bras’ well shit i didnt know the average woman was made of money
Average woman owns 16 bras; two that fit, one more that fits but is totally visible under 75% of clothing and can’t be worn with most outfits, three that kiiind of still fit if you can disguise the quadboob, one that has the underwire sticking half out and mauls you when you try to wear it, one that was bought for an especially cheap price but ain’t doin nothin to hold the girls in, seven that definitely no longer fit but they cost too much to be thrown out, plus one special occasion strapless convertible bra (that also doesn’t fit)
People without big boobs: OMG I WISH IHAD BIG BOOBS
People with big boobs: