so, this is my first blog…ever!! not really sure how to go about this but hey, change is good :) I decided I needed a place to vent, keep me on track, and help me achieve my goals and so…here I am. 

In January 2013 my friends and I booked our first summer holiday..and me being me my first thought was “oh crap..bikini time” so I decided to start dieting and exercising in order to be confident on the beach! I wasn’t overweight or anything, just a bit chubby..

I started counting calories and working out 6x a week and lost 10lbs in 5 months..just in time for holiday! I still felt uncomfortable walking around in my bikini..but had an amazing holiday..eating lots of crap foods and drinking plenty of cocktails hehe.

I came home…and that’s when the problem started. after eating so much junk and not working out for a few weeks I still managed to lose an extra 5 lbs. this started the mentality of “oh I can eat loads and still lose weight” and a few months later, the bingeing started. like major binges. I would eat sensibly throughout the day then night time came and I would eat so much toast, cereal, chocolate..anything carby and sweet I devoured.

I was still working out so it took a while for the weight to show. but trust me it did. In the last year I’ve gained back all the weight I lost before holiday and more. more recently its become more serious with me getting caught in a cycle of bingeing then starving/purging. I NEED THIS TO STOP. I need to get back on track and I’ve been told blogging is a great way to help! 

my goals now, to lose fat and tone up…and finally recover from this eating disorder. It may not be diagnosed as a mainstream disorder but my relationship with food is so unhealthy, I need to kick this once and for all.

thanks for reading..hopefully I get the hang of this soon!

J.