ROMEO AND JULIET : Scouse Version

Two clubs alike in dignity,
In Liverpool where we set our scene,
And Juliet’s dad was Everton mad,
While Romeo’s followed Bill Shankly’s team.

As she was going to Goodison Park,
It being on derby day,
He passed her on his way to the match
And pretended he’d lost his way.
‘Ello dear Jill can you help me,
I’m sweating cobs cos it’s ten to three,
If I don’t find that Goodison Road,
I’m bound to miss Hunt’s opening goal?

Two clubs alike in dignity,
In Liverpool where we set our scene,
And Juliet’s dad was Everton mad,
While Romeo’s followed Bill Shankly’s team.

She flashed her saucy eyes at him,
And, oh, but they were Kendall-blue,
She answered him quite modestly,
I’d rather be dead than a red like you,
I’m a Catterick maverick through and through,
And I would die for the lads in Blue,
But I’ll guide you to the holy ground,
Lest you miss Alan scoring two.

Two clubs alike in dignity,
In Liverpool where we set our scene,
And Juliet’s dad was Everton mad,
While Romeo’s followed Bill Shankly’s team.

He arched his back against the bar,
To save her from the swaying fans,
They sang “You’ll never walk alone”,
And they left Goodison hand in hand.
Well Juliet’s dad went raving mad,
And Romeo’s nearly went beserk,
But over a black-and-tan that night,
They agreed mixed marriages never work,
So while the moon was shining bright,
Our star-struck lovers eloped one night,
On the midnight ferry they crossed over,
Now they’re both supporting Tranmere Rovers.

Two clubs alike in dignity,
In Liverpool where we set our scene,
And Juliet’s dad was Everton mad,
While Romeo’s followed Bill Shankly’s team.