GUESTBREAKER: You’re Cheap

Go figure:  I met you at the 99 Cents Store.  You were a painter, a heartthrob, smart, that whole bit.  We talked for 20 minutes about art and life–it was all so philosophical–elevating thought in the trash bin of consumerism flux.  You wanted to buy the red checkered table cloth (99 cents) and I wanted the apron with the rooster on it (you guessed it), but you asked for my number instead.

I should have asked you to pay for it.  And I’d give you a deal (Free):  Cause, man, you’re cheap.

You’re so cheap, spending time is out of your budget.  Look, I could care less if you’re broke—um, look around, we’re all broke.  Who cares?  Getting to know someone doesn’t cost a thing (but, in this economy…)   I might as well have turned on the news instead of went out with you.  But your “outrageously expensive” $350 rent at the Zen Center/Community Living house where you didn’t have to pay for food was definitely more interesting than this painting that took the artist 10 years to make.

Sure, our date was expensive:  Bergamot Station (Free), dinner (Cheap), and when you asked me to “help out with this one” (A walk around the park), I handed you the fake money I bought at the 99 cents store (Ironic) because it didn’t cost anything. And when you went to the bathroom to fix your hair, I was already halfway through a meeting with a financial advisor to start a payment plan on your dignity.
Because, man, you earned it. 

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Wynne Renz.