Your Slutty Halloween Costume

Um, a white tube top and a white miniskirt? That's your costume? That doesn't make you a "sexy angel," that just makes you sexy. Sunglasses and a bra doesn't make you a "hot cop," it just makes you a skank with weakened nighttime vision. And putting a sash over your underwear doesn't make you a beauty queen, it makes you a target for a sex crime. Please drape my jacket over your shoulders so you can be "Sexy Decreased Chance of Being Assaulted."