GUESTBREAKER: You Don’t Have A Condom

Alright, so you’ve got me back to your place and this is nice. I didn’t really expect to sleep with you but I feel it coming. We’re getting into it and you stop to get a condom. That’s cool- you’re safe. You turn around and tell me you don’t have any, not cool. You tear your room apart as I’m losing my desire to even have sex and you come back with no results, just a request. No, I’m not going to chance it and let you pull out because you’re “really good at it.” Either produce a condom or we don’t fuck, got it? What’s that? You want me to go get some? Well I don’t have any money… oh, $20 eh? You want the change back you say… Yeah, I’ll go get them. You sit right here… I’m going home, thanks for buying my late night pizza.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Chelly.