While the audience of the 1980s might’ve been filled with the fear of powerful women and willing to sympathise with the “plight” of the lesser men who loved them (or at least profited handsomely off them) – and even understood and supported men’s urge to date their exes’ younger, dumber Plasticine lookalikes – the situation has changed in 2015.
Has it really, though? I mean, look at the plight of Miss Piggy:
Nowadays, Miss Piggy is a beloved feminist icon who covers Bitch Better Have My Money and Fuck the Pain Away (with equal aplomb) to applause from fans both new and old, and Kermit’s the behind-the-scenes wet noodle still whining about how hard it is to be green while picking up goodness knows how many of Hollywood’s near-infinite star-chasers.
And yet she’s kicked to the curb as soon as the new hot young thing comes along. Obviously, I don’t want to slut-shame Denise, Kermit’s new flame. But she should really think about the example she’s setting here. When did this
become hotter than this
SMDH.
I give the transgression of replacing one muppet with a different muppet in a fictional relationship with another muppet four problematics.
It’s not the pumpkin spice latte that is problematic so much as the response the pumpkin spice latte inspires in people. Of course, this means the root cause for the problematic responses is the pumpkin spice latte, thus making the pumpkin spice latte itself problematic. We can’t eradicate problems until we unroot the root causes, after all.
Consider, for instance, the sexism that the pumpkin spice latte inspires. It is often described as something white girls love and thus less valuable something that a white cishet man would love:
AYFKM? Do you even intersection, bros?
Language is violence. Where is my safe space?
Obvi. Indeed, the mere suggestion that “pumpkin spice lattes” are “for” “white” “women” is itself very problematic.
YES. THIS.
I love fall. I love sweater weather, I love crisp cool air.
Me too. My layering game is unmatched, son.
I especially love the advent of pumpkin spice season.
Who doesn’t? PSLs are life.
And this autumn, I dare you to call me white for loving the warmth, spices, and foods that belonged to people of color before white people stole and colonized our lands.
BOOM. DROP THAT HAMMER. I bet you shitlords don’t even think about Columbus when you’re sipping your spice. The spice trade was deeply problematic (obviously, jfc), but white people laying claim to pumpkins? You might as well just slap a colonized person in the face.
As for pumpkin? A squash native to the Americas? Who do you think grew that first, the Pilgrims? Think just a little further back. When we bemoan the pumpkin influx as a “white” or “American” trend, we rip history out from the ground beneath us. Indigenous, Native, and First Nations people cultivated pumpkins for centuries before introducing them to the white settlers. And you know how that shit goes…
Indeed we do. Indeed we do. Suggesting that “pumpkin spice lattes” equal “white basic bitches” isn’t the only disturbing deracination of food we warriors have noticed:
I mean, look at vanilla. Somehow a rich brown bean, dark and sweet, become a symbol of whiteness to radical queer people of color, a symbol of boring sex, and even more boring cake.
SMDH. Simply put:
The pumpkin spice latte is filled with the blood of indigenous peoples and people of color, but also their joy, their sweat, their labor and their love.
Think about that the next time you sip on some oppression.
I give the transgression of suggesting that pumpkin spice lattes are a food beloved by young white female millennials four problematics.
For years now, we’ve known that air conditioning is leading to global warming: the NYT was on it in 2012; Time was on it in 2013; USA Today was on it in 2015. But air conditioning is fueling more than our destruction. It’s also fueling sexism.
Air conditioning, obviously, is extremely problematic.
Some people falsely believe that air conditioning is an amazing human advance that allows work to be done in many climates regardless of the temperature outside. They even suggest it “saves lives.” Pfft. Other people believe, correctly, that air conditioning is actually a tool of sexism designed to harm women in the workplace. Fortunately, the Washington Post is on it:
“I. Am. Fuh-reezing. Feel my hand — I’m still cold,” said Ruth Marshall, 64, who was seated on a park bench, face to the sky. And, yes, her hand felt like a cold steak.
“I have to come out here for 30 minutes at a time just to warm up,” said Marshall, the director of administration at a construction firm where the air conditioning is set to Arctic. …
“Is your office too cold?” I asked a clutch of men — pinstripes, charcoal pants, crisp shirts with the faint outline of undershirts beneath.
They looked at me as if I spoke in Finnish, confident faces contorted in puzzlement.
“No.”
“Nah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
So I asked another guy in a navy suit eating a taco.
“No. It’s fine.”
Two dudes in matching blue shirts and red ties?
“Fine.” “No.” Zippity happity do da fine.
Hmm. A pattern?
SMDH. Others piled on, warming the frosty air with their hot takes:
Finally someone is acknowledging that AC hell is not a figment of our imaginations, but is actually a form of sexism. Men toil in their dream temperatures, while women are left to shiver. Or in my case, wrap themselves in a weird grey poncho/blanket/scarf.
It’s really about time we had this conversation. There must be thousands – dare I say millions – of women out there having these exact AC office wars.
Is a “conversation” really enough, though? Certainly there’s enough here to suggest it’s time for the federal government to launch an investigation. Can we get Hillary Clinton on this? As a politician who has already run into some trouble for paying her female staffers less than her male staffers, certainly she should see the need to get ahead of this issue before it sinks her campaign.
I give the transgression of using air conditioning in offices despite the fact that some women don’t like air conditioning in offices two problematics. And I’d just like to take a moment to thank the great number of you who brought this to my attention.
Frat parties are, obviously, inherently problematic. Let’s leave aside their exclusionary nature—fraternities that only allow men should be banned, clearly, because sexism—and instead consider their frequent forays into cultural appropriation. Whether it’s a “gangster party” or a “Cinco de Mayo” party, the oppression inherent in these celebrations is extremely gross. But even your regular ol’ Solo Cups N Cheap Beer frat parties are deeply worrisome, given the role fraternities play in perpetuating the patriarchy.
Given the troubling nature of fraternities, then, should a progressively minded organization host a party whose them was “frat parties”?
Do I even have to tell you that this is extremely problematic?
AYFKM with this? And what, pray tell, was at this “frat-themed staff party”? Oh, you guessed it: kegs and beer pong and coolers. People probably danced. Some of they may have even, gag, “had fun.”
SMDH.
Fortunately, because no fun is allowed to be had by anyone anywhere, Twitter quickly apologized for this gross breach of etiquette:
“This social event organized by one team was in poor taste at best, and not reflective of the culture we are building here at Twitter,” Twitter spokesman Jim Prosser said in a written statement. “We’ve had discussions internally with the organizing team, and they recognize that this theme was ill-chosen.”
Ugh. I mean, seriously. A party with games and drinking and Solo cups? WTF? This is what the patriarchy looks like: people drinking and having fun and generally not stopping to consider the ways in which structures have been erected to blind them from the truth.
I give the transgression of hosting a party with the theme of “parties” four problematics.
Whedon is said to have “liked the idea of bringing the world’s mightiest superheroes to a humble home on a Midwestern farm. ‘The middle of the last movie, they were on the helicarrier and everything went very sci-fi…This movie is all about bringing them back down to earth.’” (BF) It could just as easily have been an old Barton family ranch Hawkeye discovered was his, or Fury could have set up the gang out there with no need or mention of a wife at all. And a humble home doesn’t have to be run by a one-dimensional, doe-eyed woman. Written as she was, Laura stood out as an anachronistic eyesore, unnecessary and offensive; better left unseen. I’d much rather have watched another few moments of Black Widow kicking ass.
Yes, this. There’s literally only one right way to portray women on film. To suggest that they enjoy being mothers or that motherhood is a part of the feminine experience is gross, sexist, reductive, etc.
In short: problematic.
I give the transgression of thinking that housewives should be seen by anyone ever four problematics.
It’s a sad fact of life that we have to live with casual sexism. From air-conditioning-related microaggressions to macroaggressions like “Netflix and Chill,” we are constantly reminded that it is a man’s world. So when we encounter something like “selfie shaming” we can’t be surprised about it. We can only utter ten SMDHs and ten FFSs and pray for absolution for the sinners amongst us.
A group of sorority girls from Arizona State University were caught on camera taking numerous selfies during a baseball game between the Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies Wednesday night.
“Do you have to make faces when you take selfies?” groused Brenly, a 61-year-old man. “That’s the best one of the 300 pictures I’ve taken of myself today!”
Uh, one can never have enough selfies, OLD MAN. Why do you think iPhones come with 128 GB? It’s not so we can download the Encyclopedia Britannica.
On one hand baseball broadcasts, first on radio and later on TV, have long depended on light-hearted commentary of ballpark scenery to fill the many pockets of downtime during the average game. Yet something about Wednesday’s paternalistic rant felt creepy and excessive beneath its bouncy veneer.
It didn’t feel creepy so much as problematic.
even the most seemingly innocuous episodes of everyday sexism reinforce the idea of sports as a boys’ club, an outdated notion that serves no one.
Ugh, right? Look, if they wanted to do their makeup and chat about boys and take selfies and giggle and totally ignore the action on the field, who are we to judge them?
Selfie-shaming must end.
It is a basic human right to be able to take 397 pictures of yourself every hour, in every conceivable situation, from every conceivable angle.
Selfies are art, dammit. You know who else took selfies?
Oh, but no one thinks Van Gogh is an awful narcissist. You know why? Sexism, probs.
If there’s anything the Selfie Generation lacks, it’s a sense of love for itself. Selfie-shaming has to go.
I give the transgression of making fun of self-absorbed narcissists who live to take photos of themselves and pay no attention to the world around them three problematics.
We’ve previously dealt with the problematic shitlord Jeremy Renner, who thought it was “cool” and “funny” to make horribly problematic jokes about Black Widow being a slut. So I guess we can’t be too surprised that he can’t be bothered to stand up for social justice and equality of pay.
Way to check your privilege, man.
jfc
SOME celebrities are better than you; most of them are just sexist dbags.
Unlike Bradley Cooper, who starred alongside both Lawrence and Renner in American Hustle and is happy to work with his co-stars to bring attention to the issue, Jeremy Renner doesn’t care to participate in the fight for wage equality.
Cool unity bro it’s really good to see this. Doesn’t Jeremy Renner know the old phrase? “If you don’t have anything socially just to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Of course, this is just another example of one of our problematic faves letting us down:
But one warrior for justice (category: social) had a good idea:
YES! THIS! People should only work with those who agree that actors should negotiate their pay together. That way everyone—from the biggest star to the lowliest extra—will earn the same amount of money. Only then will we have true equality.
I give the transgression of refusing to spout the current line on whatever topic is rustling social justice jimmies at any given time two problematics.
I honestly don’t know how you could sit through a movie about dinosaurs being brought back to life filled with crazy stunts and fun action and not be disgusted by the rampant sexism on display. SMDH at you, Jurassic World. SMDH.
Unfortunately, I walked out of the theater not with the sense of wonder and amazement Jurassic Park gave my 10-year-old self, but instead with a familiar mix of anger and depression that Hollywood had churned out yet another aggressively sexist blockbuster.
UGH. Preach, Barnaby Walter:
I bet the Daily Beast has some thoughts on this:
OMG. THE BACKWARDNESS. IT BURNS.
I mean, they raise a good point. In this movie, one of the characters begins the film as someone who is kind of cold toward children and then, by the end of the movie, warms up to them. This istotally unprecedented in the Jurassic Park series. It would literally never happen to a Man Charac—
Well, okay, sure. There was that one character who started off hating kids and then liked them more. I mean, fine. But think of the outfit that the female character wears! It’s a big laugh when she ties off the jacket! So demeaning! Certainly it’s not a call back to something from the first mov—
QUIT CHANGING THE SUBJECT THIS MOVIE IS TOTES SEXIST AND YOU ARE PERPETUATING PATRIARCHY BY DENYING IT.
I give Jurassic World’s gross sexism four problematics. Get it together, Hollywood. Women cannot be portrayed as interested in the well being of younglings in this day and age.
The Dalai Lama has watched his people experience decades of persecution at the hands of a major world power. He has preached in favor of living the simple life and encouraged people around the world to accept refugees regardless of their religion.
He is deeply problematic.
I mean, can you even with this?
I just cannot. What did he say?
Ughhhhhh.
Thankfully our fellow warriors were here to speak truth to power.
#TheStruggleIsReal, y’all, and it never ends.
This is a zen koan I can get behind.
AGREED. MOAR OUTRAGE PLZ.
I give the transgression of an 80-something religious leader known for his puckish sense of humor whose successor will be chosen by magic not hewing to the proper standards of anti-sexism three problematics.
Some people think it’s cute when people lay in bed with their loved ones, holding each other in their arms. This act is commonly referred to as “spooning.”
Other people—enlightened people—realize that spooning is a deeply problematic way that power structures propagate themselves. Fortunately, such enlightened people are dominant in the media and can explain to us how we should be Good:
The more I reflect on spooning during my sojourn, the more I have come to see it as a terrible idea, one that’s fraught both physically and ideologically.
Yes, thank you! I’m glad someone is finally addressing this.
Big spoons are manly and will take care of you (provided you let them use you to take care of themselves); little spoons are fragile, passive creatures that need to be held and kept safe. This, of course, is fundamentally a sexist arrangement, one that casts the big spoon as “the man” and the little spoon as “the woman.”
wow really makes you think
To say that this power imbalance is built into all acts of spooning—whichever the sexes engaged—is not, I think, an overstatement.
Not only is it not an overstatement, it’s the truest thing I’ve ever read. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that the government should probably step in and begin educating our children about the ideologically unsound nature of spooning. Is it really too much to ask for a chapter in sex ed books on this topic?
I give the transgression of sleeping next to your loved one in an ideologically fraught way three problematics.
Some people think that it’s really awesome how diverse the new Star Wars film is and how much more the diverse characters have to do. For instance, Jezebel celebrated the new film thusly:
This was a very good point; after all, who can forget Princess Leia doing literally nothing but giving birth and dying in the original trilogy? Remember the controversial “preggers Leia makes cookies barefoot whilst hanging out on Endor waiting for the menfolk to come home” scene? Shockingly retrograde, even for 1983.
But this time! This time we have a strong woman character!
And a strong black character!
And a strong Hispanic character!
So maybe Star Wars: The Force Awakens isn’t problematic! Maybe this, the most diverse Star Wars film ever made featuring numerous non-white-male characters in numerous roles is good enough!
lol jk
Don’t you know?
Did you forget while we were gone?
Everything’s a problem.
Caution: spoilers for The Force Awakens below. (Not that you should be seeing this horror show anyway.)
But alas, a curious thing happened on the way to a galaxy far, far away… The character of Finn as the penultimate symbol of racial inclusiveness for this franchise reboot is knocked unconscious during a climactic battle scene in the final act of the film, and he remains unconscious for the rest of the film.
Interesting use of “penultimate” here; if Finn is the second-to-last “symbol of racial inclusiveness,” one wonders who the last will be.
While this is not the first, nor will it be the last time that a character has been held in abeyance at the end or the beginning of a series installment, whether knocked unconscious, frozen in “carbonite”, abandoned or running away to a hidden land, world or fortress, robotic parts separated and/or power disconnected - the unconsciousness of Finn throughout the final act of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” as I shall discuss it here in this piece, reveals to us that, White Hollywood, as we near the beginning of the last year of Obama’s presidency, is ushering in a new and more powerful form of racial tokenism.
Well, obvs.
Hyper-tokenism in a White film can be defined as the marked increase in screen time, dramatic involvement and promotional images of a Black character in a White film, while simultaneously reserving full dramatic agency as the providence of White characters by the end of the film.
In other words, a hyper-token is a fully formed character who happens to be minority.
JFC, is there no depth to which White Hollywood will stoop? FFS.
Moreover, hyper-tokenism takes a toll on the creative consciousness of Black filmmakers and writers in the sense that it makes it even more difficult to breech the loyalty of the Black audience from White films that have Hyper-Tokens and get that Black audience to support Black films where Black characters can exercise full dramatic agency without the approval of White characters or the guidance of the “White Savior Trope.”
Much has been made of the ethnically diverse cast. The stars are John Boyega, a black British actor who plays Finn, a former Stormtrooper, and the white British actress Daisy Ridley as Rey, a scavenger with a mysterious backstory. The two are affable and telegenic, and there are fun moments between them as they battle a gathering galactic tyranny.
So far so good, but…
There just aren’t any sparks.
Ugh.
Boyega — who, by the way, worked sanitation duty as a Stormtrooper —
can you even with this because i cannot even with this and i tried so hard to even with this but i wasn’t able to even wi
spends most of the movie running scared while his co-star makes his status in the friend zone as clear as starlight. He is not powerful in the way Rey is. And it’s not that we don’t appreciate the skill of the young heroine; it’s just that she seems empowered at his expense.
Of course she would be; can’t have a strong black man be too strong now can we?
By contrast, the Finn character is remarkably anodyne. In important ways, a black character has moved from the periphery to the center of a blockbuster story. In other ways, Hollywood is still dancing around issues of intimacy and black heroism for a black male lead in a mixed-race cast.
the whole time i was watching THE FORCE AWAKENS i was like “why haven’t i seen a dick yet”
We won’t have true equality onscreen until we do.
I give the transgression of making a super-diverse film that will almost certainly become the highest-grossing film in North America of all time four problematics.
