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FISTFUL - BLOG
Official blog of Fistful.
destroycomics
You’ve probably heard of the Sam Hiti death scare. You probably saw it as a hoax. You probably saw it as a call for help. Sam is alive, but his condition is private.
I don’t know what’s going on in Sam Hiti’s life.
I’ve only know that the past year has been difficult for him. Clusterfucked with illness, accidents, and a creative absence. I miss his presence, his studies of Claudia Cardinale and musings yielded by thick brush lines, and, most of all, his fierce independence. A lot of what I know from others and have experienced with comics has bothered me about this news.
Comics is a cancerous profession.
An overwhelming amount of people struggle with comics and it spreads them really fucking thin. A lot of people will come off jaded, ignorant, or morose, if not completely alone. It shows. It’s contagious. Its demand and time consumption won’t flow when the effects of production on personal lives destroy motivation and productivity. Especially when publishers try to get you to work at wholesale prices without the benefits you need to keep yourself healthy, support a family, and insure that if something happens to you, you have something there for you and your family to fall back on.
I don’t want to be pessimistic or “realistic” about comics. Comics at its best is one of the most nurturing communities I’ve known. But, as a career, judging from the people I know who struggle from depression and have expressed suicidal thoughts, it has the ability to have the creator running breathless with hooks digging deep into their backs.
Brandon Graham says that his job is “staying excited about comics.” This is important in looking at the self and comics whether it means focusing on yourself so you can continue to be healthy for comics.
But, the best advice is “don’t go into comics.” If you find yourself never quitting, you’ll have a Socratic virtue fulfilled, but at a cost greater for some lesser for others.
It’s okay to quit.
If comics has taken so much from you and given so little and you feel that you need to escape, you should. Trust your intuition. Even if you end up coming back to it a week later, months, years, or never. You are more important than comics.
Respect the people who choose to quit or take a long time to finish a project. Comics are demanding.
Those of you who know me, or follow my personal tumblr, probably know that making comics was one of the only things I was hanging on to when I was trying to kill myself last year. I shelved the project after being hospitalized. In that situation comics made things worse. I’d have panic attacks while inking. I started posting cryptic Work In Progress shots of a skeleton dude and cryptically alluding to plans for my death. I wasn’t healthy and comics were contributing to that sickness.
The tortured artist cliche is bullshit. Never tell someone to use their pain to create. It’s a bad route for them to take. Make sure they’re okay.
When you’re affected by the realities, depressed or sick, you might be incapable of stepping outside of yourself to stop yourself from doing something that will cause pain to yourself or others.
The way Sam Hiti announced his death today was really disrespectful to the people who know and love him as a person as well as his work. A lot of hearts skipped a few beats.
Don’t be angry. Don’t say that this is a hoax to sell books. You’re failing to empathize with a person who obviously is trying to process their future.
Empathy is one of the most important qualities a person can have, and it lacks with the omnipresence of the internet. If you encounter someone who has done something terrible, is going through the shit, or isn’t aware of themselves, know that you can never change a person, but empathy is still the best thing you can offer them.
People do really stupid things to deal with their pain. Some do it to themselves with substance or to others, whether they’re using people or sexually assaulting them. There are really terrible things people are capable of that you’d be surprised by. Shitty circumstances breeds shitty people more than it breeds great ones. Some of those people will put their trauma on other people and let the infection grow. It’s important to know that we’re all capable of changing ourselves after seeing ourselves as we appear.
I believe Sam Hiti is dead. This isn’t figuratively speaking. Sam Hiti, the cartoonist, has said goodbye, and by the looks of it, this was something that happened a while back. Comics were a part of his being to himself and others, and now that he recognized that has past, that person has passed on. Whether he’ll resurrect and make comics again is up to Sam Hiti, the person.
Also, note: I do not know what is going on in Sam Hiti’s life, nor do I want anyone to believe that’s the reality of his situation until he says something formal, if he does.
Empathize with others as you would yourself. Accept and seek out the help of others. You are important as other people and other people are as important as you.
I’m saddened and going to greatly miss Sam Hiti. I wish him and his family the best.
Art is something we experience and appreciate perpetually. It’s everywhere and more often offered for free. It is taken for granted. I know there’s a lot of preaching out there about supporting the arts, but seriously, support the arts. Send artists you love money and praise, buy their products, go out and see them when there are events close to you. Keep them going because keeping yourself excited about comics involves everyone. For someone to go about that task alone, either they’re endowed with a great spirit or crumbling slowly.
Hoax or not, I bought Sam’s goodbye package. I suggest you all consider showing him the final support and respect his decision to kill the cartoonist and join him in sending himself off.
You can buy the goodbye package here
Watch Sam draw in Kagan McLeod’s studio with Paul Pope, David B, and Frederik Peeters.