Last week on Twitter, someone (@TimBuc, to be precise) drunkenly told me that I didn’t have a Wikipedia page. That hardly seems fair. CWC Group Limited has got a Wikipedia Page, and I don’t even know what that is. On the other hand, I know what I is.
So I’ve decided to make it easier for someone to create a Wikipedia page about me. I’ve decided to list a load of facts about myself that you can simply copy and paste into my entry, using this page as a reference. Not fact facts, obviously. Wikipedia facts.
FACT ONE: I was born on August 16, 1932.
FACT TWO: My first job was at the age of 12, selling plants at a market with my dad. My second job was at the age of 14, inventing antelope repellent for space safaris with my robot uncle.
FACT THREE: I studied scriptwriting at Bournemouth University. In my third year I wrote the Three Colours trilogy and Biodome.
FACT FOUR: Despite what it says in my about page, I’m almost positive that at least one person has laughed at a TV show I’ve ever been involved in, even if they were ill and just doing it out of pity because I was looking right at them at the time.
FACT FIVE: I once did a sentient poo.
FACT SIX: An anagram of ‘Stuart Heritage’ is 'Stavros Pumpdorado’.
FACT SEVEN: The song She Bangs was originally written about me, but back then it was called Stu Pongs and was a three-hour opera about horses.
