Good Morning my dear Burnchums!
How are you today? Feeling chipper? I hope so!
It’s the start of a new school year and all of the magic and mystery that this entails…and without going into the nuts and bolts of the entire fucking bucket of shit that is the new school year (it’s actually my favourite time of year…but let’s not let that ruin a nice cynical blog post), let me just talk about the annual changing of the teachers.
Well…it’s not always annual…but the fact is…shit changes…and sometimes it changes for the better…and other times…you have my life. So…a couple of months ago, the English Conversation Teacher (who was a great teacher and a champion lady) and the Gossip Mongering Arsehole Co-Teacher (who was a…well…you guess!) both announced that they were leaving. So…we had to have a job interview to find a new ECT. These things, in and of themselves, are always a slap in the face with a wet cock. i mean, I’m at a school where the budget for my position has been cut, meanwhile, we advertise for a ‘conversation teacher’ and we get two washed up looking jokes who both seem determined to put in the worst possible job interview performance possible. It’s like a two horse race at a glue factory.
The first candidate plans her lesson, and delivers us a lively and entertaining attempt at the lesson, 'Where is Namdaemun?’ She is doing a comically bad job at teaching, spelling words in an interesting fashion and generally pronouncing things in such a way that I have no idea what she’s talking about. Still…I am aware that we will have to choose one of the two candidates even if they’re both horrible, so I pay careful attention. Looking at her lesson plan, I notice a 'game’ called “Student Robert” and this sounds creative and unique enough that if she pulls it off, she just may well be in the running (in spite of the fact she has written “Tunn Riht” on the whiteboard at least three times.
Well…it turns out “Student Robert” is actually just a poor attempt at spelling “Student Robot” and the game isn’t anywhere near as fascinating as I’d hoped it would be *sigh*.
So…candidate two. She’s an older lady…I don’t know…kind of YouYou’s age…and she rocks up with a lesson plan that’s a little bit off the wall. i mean, we set the topic for the lesson, “Where is Namdaemun?” but her lesson is titled “How to be talk with the foreigner.” Now…I’m not saying that it’s not a fascinating idea for a lesson, but the thing is…if we set a topic, you really should teach to that topic. Otherwise, you’re just kind of cheating. Burndog does not like cheating. So..she explains at the start of the lesson that she “couldn’t do da lesson about da Namdaemeun”. Long story short…her pronunciation is better than the first candidates, but the lesson is dire. Awful. Just. Mind numbingly shit.
However…she flirts mercilessly with the VP and mentions four times (once in English, three in Korean) that she is single and looking for love. Creepy times.So the interview finishes and we must choose between the two. I choose the second candidate, but then I explain that it’s like choosing between Kim Jong-Un and Kim Jong-Il…neither one is really my cup of tea. Having said this, the VP nods in agreement and announces loudly that I am right and right. We will hire her, but he won’t be happy (it seems that flirting with the man only gets a lady so far).
So…we hired candidate two.
In future updates I will explain how she is the New YouYou…or at the very least she has the potential.
But right now…Burndog’s got shit to do.
Have a day!
*****BREAKING NEWS******
She’s just come into my office ranting about how she’s concerned that the parents will call her if I don’t teach every student.
I explained that the schedule is not mine to make and that she should speak to the Head Teacher.
She’s about to learn a LOT about the politics of school life. In short…if you don’t like things…sometimes it’s best to just shut the fuck up and go with the flow…things will right themselves with or without you.
I’ve decided to offer her my total support…from a safe distance. I’ve grown a lot since my YouYou days.
Learn more about You You here.
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