wears a kickass leather overcoat 24/7 for maximum attractiveness
trims his plants (and statues) with his sword
loves to break fragile objects and use them as weapons, e.g. a wineglass and my own heart
blows up zombie heads in front of his crush to get her attention and it works
is wise and chooses to say nothing when his crush kills all of his beloved pet flies
prepares to stab his friends in the head when they fall down the stairs
destroys antique furniture to make his proposal more impactful for everyone
still keeps his father’s watch after all these years, proving himself to be a secret daddy’s boy
lies to his crush to protect her and goes off to save her sister by himself, even when it means that he has to encounter his worst enemy in order to do so
almost dies when his crush tries to save him but listens to her words of affection even when in pain
goes on to remember his crush’s words and say that she has saved his life in more ways than one, resulting in the maiming of hearts everywhere including my own
IS A HELLA BOMB KISSER
LIKE
ARE YOU SURE THIS SHOULD BE RATED PG-13 FOR HIS KISSES ALONE
ARE YOU SURE
it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of such a fine voice must also have possession of everyone’s pants
marries alongside his best friend #blackplaguecan’ttouchthesebros
puppy dog eyes that always look at his crush with *clenches fist* a r d e n t a d m i r a t i o n
swims in a pond with a beautiful flowy white shirt like h one st ly ???
overall, colonel darcy is an awful character and must be avoided at all cost lest you desire to fall 110% in love ew