The modern web is full of great advice for the modern woman. There are lots of lifestyle sites to be found, a plethora of “mommy blogs”, and a cottage industry of communities for women from all walks of life…   

There are countless campaigns promoting issues specific to women’s health and wellness, self-esteem, human rights and abuse, and in this age of social media, they are able to receive the exposure they well deserve.

What many don’t realize as they seek advice, share stories, commiserate, and fund raise with other woman is that (at least in the United States), as many as 1 of 5 of their fellow moms, aunts, sisters, colleagues, and friends is a woman with a disability.

Why would they necessarily realize it? Many of us who are women with disabilities are  busy enough just trying to live our lives the way any woman would, with the same stresses, stories, and successes as our non-disabled neighbors.  We are similar in as many ways as we are different, so self identifying as a woman with a disability doesn’t always come up.

And yet, there are some important ways in which we’ve discovered attention should be paid to the lives of women who also happen to have disabilities.  As women with disabilities, we’ve got a responsibility to ourselves, our loved ones and our communities, to understand some very real dangers that come with the territory of being who we are. People who don’t have experience with disabilities in their lives should also be aware of what is out there, because without allies, there will never be enough awareness to change some of the disturbing facts we’ve discovered over the years.

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Along the way, we discover differences, as well as some common ground among many of of the women we’ve encountered:

• Many of us have the ability to see the world as both the caregiver and receiver of care at a younger age, giving us a broad understanding of the cycle of life not understood by many people until the end of life.

• We have the ability to see our bodies as unique and powerful, as well as see the uniqueness in other bodies that society deems unworthy.

• We can also, if we so choose, sexualize our bodies despite the dominant voices of society telling us we are unattractive, undesirable, and incapable of sex or being sexy.

• We can give birth and raise children despite medical professionals and society telling us it is impossible.

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This is why as a group, we challenge ourselves to face these realities head-on. To admit them to ourselves, and to share them with others. We encourage women with disabilities to educate themselves, be proud of who they are and how far we have come, and also to fight against stigmas and statistics that follow them.

There is a delicate balance between living our lives and fighting for them, and too often, too many of us are fighting. In a more perfect world, this balance would be different but for now we need to focus on the commonalities we have, and stick together through the fights we must face, as well as the great joys in life we share.