Truthful Tuesday: What I Learned in 2013
1. The scariest part of parenting is realizing your worst traits were passed down to your child. My daughter can be such a tricky little beeeyatch. I love when my husband tries to out smart her. I applaud his efforts and wish the world a ton of luck.
2. Electric and water bills are among the list of shit that gets more expensive as your child gets older. Now that my daughter has decided that darkness is terrifying and taking a shower/bath combo is the most efficient way to get clean, there will be no more water for fishies and she doesn't give a fuck. Really. I asked her if she wanted to save water for the fish and she said no.
3. Marriage means bringing your wife coffee first thing in the morning so she can play superhero-ballet-mommy and entertain all day so you can watch football and complain there is no food in the house.
4. I'm going to have to move to a place where preteens aren't wearing crop tops, bootie shorts and knee high boots like it ain't no thang because my daughter is so not dressing like a hood rat and clearly that's some sort of style going on right now. Perhaps Alaska is somewhat safe? Suggestion box is open.
5. Hot steamy shower sex like in the movies isn't possible. At least not when you are living on or below the poverty line because your shower is barely big enough for you to wash your hair without breaking an elbow through the glass door and creativity gets you nowhere when you bath in a shoe box with a spout.