So you weren’t reborn in the baptismal pool of mother’s milk… now what??

Don’t worry, there are plenty of ways to prepare for the next time the pool of rebirth is presented to you. First of all don’t be a pussy! Don’t be a pussy, like say what you mean, but then also don’t be a pussy like don’t be afraid to apologize if you were wrong. Don’t have a “thing” or at least don’t refer to your “thing.” Don’t tell other people what not to have, who are you to talk, you butthole? Don’t get bogged down by the fact that eventually you’re gonna die, so any decision you are weighing besides “have fun” seems COMPLETELY POINTLESS – you are going to die! Don’t assume things just get better, civilization gets more civilized, equality settles like a wave reaching equilibrium…mother.fucking.NOPE. Hey, guess what, after the American Revolution, free black Americans had lots of rights, but then a few decades later, self-righteous, frightened ASSHOLES just TOOK THEM AWAY. Guess what?! People are forgetful as FUCK! Learn not to please people. Learn to displease them. Pick who you want to please. Learn not to judge your self worth based on how other people feel about you. DOn’T BE AFRAID OF BEING WRONG. Get paid for shit! Do some shit for free! Be Kinder. Be braver. STOP WORRYING!!!! LET GO! Don’t let go. LET GO! Don’t let go. Lean in. HARD. Lean in to what’s you. Listen to what isn’t. Try to understand what isn’t. Be really fucking careful about giving advice. Teach people how to treat you. Don’t judge. Get health insurance. Butts are funny. Donuts are good. eat. sleep. fuck. love. Call your parents………………. IF YOU DO ALL THIS AND MORE ………………………………………………………………………….. tell me how.