I’d rather do almost anything with a tampon than insert it into my vagina. Almost. Once I forgot my diva cup during an extended stay at my girlfriend’s apartment, which turned into an extended-er stay due to Hurricane Sandy. My diva cup was in Brooklyn, I…

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Also.Also.Also: Lesbian Teacher Fired for Being Preggos and Other Stories We Missed

Eli would just like to remind you that there’s a new episode of Doctor Who premiering every Saturday night, which he feels is a good reason to get all of your chores done on Friday. Here’s everything we missed while I was nodding in agreement.

unrelated yet DEEPLY BEAUTIFUL snail imagery via Vyacheslav Mishchenko

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+ A Pennsylvania mother is facing prison time for helping her…

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Top Ten Ice Cream Bars You’d Run After A Truck To Put In Your Mouth

feature image via shutterstock.

Hey it’s summer and you know what that means, it’s time to shove ice cream in your mouth-hole! One time I heard the ice cream truck outside and I was like, can we have ice cream, and my fascist mother was like, no, and my Dad was like yeah sure go catch the truck and you can have ice cream, and I was like, ON IT and then, in my socks, I sprinted five blocks ’til I…

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Top Ten Best Potato-Dominant Situations To Eat

I ate french fries for lunch every day in 9th and 10th grade, which is how I got so tall! It’s because potatoes were growing inside me. Furthermore, I get stressed out when I have to pick only one potato product at a restaurant when I’m offered multiple side dishes. This is because potato products are the best products in the history of food and are very difficult to compare to each other.…

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20 Pictures Of Lesbian Sex According To Stock Photography

by riese & laneia

Stock photography: that underrated art form in which professionals create rights-free images suitable for usage by a variety of magazine and online publications. We love us some Shutterstock, we really truly do, especially lately as they’ve been beefing up their lesbian section with photos that look like actual lesbians living actual lives. But the Shutterstock archives are…

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Excuse Me But These Cats Have Serious Business To Attend To

I have two cats and the only job they have is personal assistant — whenever we’re trying to do any work at all, they are squarely on whatever books or tools we need, helping. They are very helpful. But that’s not the kind of cat career I’m talking about—there are some cats with better jobs than I will ever purrrsonally have. Here are just a few of them.

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Top Ten Products For Human Bloodhounds Who Need Everything To Smell Good

I can smell everything. Seriously, everything. If we’ve spent significant periods of time together, I probably could recognize you by scent. I drove my friends in New York crazy by refusing to enter delis with hot bars and by ordering delivery instead of takeout from the Chinese restaurant around the corner — the smell of hot oil that permeated these places lingered in my hair and clothes for…

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10 Actual Stock Image Results for “Menstruation”

Found during the real-life process of searching for images for this article.

1.

Oh me? Just sort of palpating the top of my left thigh. Yeah, and holding some flowers. What’s up with you, though?

2.

As long as nobody else wearing white shows up in this empty parking lot, I have this wet t-shirt contest in the bag

3.

I’m going to cover this tampon in Thousand Island dressing and eat it

4.

No…

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