By the time you get to middle school, or even earlier, you’re implicitly taught by the world to always have your guard/wall up, so you don’t emotionally breakdown everyday. But this led our society into so individualistic where it’s all about their survival first. And this mindset has seeped into our spiritual mind too. 

We can’t have walls up between your relationship with God. Have faith. Like those trust exercise where one falls expecting other will catch you, expect God to be there for you. Be vulnerable before God. If God say, do this, even though you think it’s little awkward or illogical, do it and see what God does in your life. 

Christianity is not about knowing God. It’s experiencing God. It’s about having relationship. Get out of the lukewarm, comfort zone. Take a leap of faith and see what God does.