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Good African Men
I have been reading the Good Men Project for about two months now. My fascination with the blog, or movement, depending on your loyalties, began with a single article. I can’t remember what it was about or who wrote it, but I do... — **Good African Men**
I have been reading the Good Men Project for about two months now. My fascination with the blog, or movement, depending on your loyalties, began with a single article. I can’t remember what it was about or who wrote it, but I do remember it made me stop, think, then subscribe. Now, everyday, I return to my feed curious what I will find.
The website has addressed the masculine spectrum, fatherhood, fidelity, sexuality, race, employment; the list goes on. What intrigues me about the coverage of these topics, since they are not in themselves novel, is that they are explored through individual stories. Each contributor tells his story about how that topic is a personal struggle or success of his manhood, and what he has learned from his journey. The site seems to unite these stories under two loose goals. First, there are men out there who want to be good men and secondly, those men are making difficult decisions daily that get them closer to what they believe it means to be a good man, and those decisions are not always that obvious, but sometimes they are.
As a woman, I appreciate that these men are willing to bare their soul for the benefit of their readers. Even when I do not agree with what I read, I still come away with a better understanding of where those men are coming from. There have been stories of a confrontation between friends over infidelity, a father struggling with how to raise his children to be good people, and how embracing all forms of masculinity allowed a man to embrace himself.
However, as an African woman, I can’t help but notice that our men are not involved in the conversation, and I wonder why? Do these conversations happen within the African community? Are there men aware of the impact of patriarchy on the potential of African nations? Do they care, and if they do, what are they doing about it? Where are the conversations about infidelity, where are the men who detest the immoral actions of their brothers, the men who are self-proclaimed feminists? As more and more African men and women are educated abroad, I wonder where is our platform, why are we not sharing our stories and encouraging such an honest dialogue?
When I imagine what the African continent could be, I imagine it begins with individuals who believe in goodness, kindness, generosity, and integrity. Without individuals who are dedicated to becoming good, our nations cannot be good.
Unfortunately, we tend to see nothing but men hungry for power, money, and sex. Our men are not prized for the incredible fathers they can be, the incredible leaders they might be, or the supportive and loving partners they are. Men like Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, and Ishmael Beah are lifted up as an example of the “good” but also as exceptions to the rule.
So…
**African men, how did this perception of the African man come about?**
**Is it a well founded perception?**
**Where are your conversations about manhood?**
**What does it mean to be a good African man?**
**If you strive to be good, what keeps you from your goal?**
**How do African cultures keep you from being good?**
**What does it mean to be an African man?**
**Does African masculinity keep you from being good?**
**What place do feminist ideas have in the conversation of being a good African man?**
**What role do women have in the struggle to be a good man?**
**African women, have you been in the presence of a good African man?**
**Why do we share the stories of the fallen African man more than we share those of the good?**
**How does a good African man contribute to a home, community, a nation?**
Check out this link and the clip for the GMP’s attempt to discuss African manhood: [link]
-Chinwe Ohanele

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Talk Africa: “Women: Then and Now”
What place did women have in the contient’s cultures?
What place to women have now?
Do women have influence, power?
Have western ideas of feminism, and gender equality changed anything?
If so, how have they changed... — **Talk Africa: “Women: Then and Now”**
What place did women have in the contient’s cultures?
What place to women have now?
Do women have influence, power?
Have western ideas of feminism, and gender equality changed anything?
If so, how have they changed our cultures?
Are these beneficial changes?
What are some characteristics of African women, that would surprise outsiders?
Who or what is the modern woman of the continent like?
How is she different from her predecessors?

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Twitter Chat coming up regarding our new post: “Good African Men.” Follow us @RiseAfrica and join the discussion

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Talk Africa: “Afro-reality: Ain’t I A Woman”
“African women are so domestic, they know how to treat a man. They are so sweet and soft-spoken.” This is what an elderly white man told me after learning that I am a Nigerian immigrant. I gathered from... — **Talk Africa: “Afro-reality: Ain’t I A Woman”**
“African women are so domestic, they know how to treat a man. They are so sweet and soft-spoken.” This is what an elderly white man told me after learning that I am a Nigerian immigrant. I gathered from his tone, and soft smile that he intended the words to be a compliment, that I should take heart that I was desired for my exceptionally feminine features. Little did he know that I am my mother’s daughter: opinionated, and outspoken, passionate, and unrelenting, dogged, with a boisterous deep-bellied laugh.
I grew up in a family where my mother, not my father, always worked at least two jobs. In our household my mother was quite literally our super hero. She began life as a midwife, in a little hospital in Owerri, Nigeria. Then immigrated, with my father, to the US and became a registered nurse. My mother has gone back to school to finish her Bachelors of Science in Nursing (BSN), and is now, in her fifties, pursuing her Masters in Nursing. My mother has always made more than my father and spent many hours out of the house working, but at the end of the day, if you ask this woman who the head of the household is, she will tell you that it is my father.
When you ask my father why he married my mother, he will tell you two things: 1) she has beautiful hands (which she does) and 2) she had a very neat desk (which is a bald faced lie, my mother is the messiest person I know). My mother married my father because she loved the conversations they had, and he treated her like an equal. Every time he would get his paycheck he would bring it back to my mother and ask her what they would do with the money. This was all before the ring, the vows, and children.
After immigrating to the US, however, my father discovered just how messy my mother is and assumed all household chores. I learned to clean the house, do laundry, and organize my room from my father. I learned to cook from my mother, and I learned to treat all people with dignity from them both. There was never a time that I questioned my mother’s autonomy, or my father’s power. I knew that together they were my parents, and together they were raising me. Neither was necessarily superior, but inhabited different spaces.
**continue reading**

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RE: Good African Men

opinionated commented:

The perception of the abusive corrupt African man came from the media, where did the media get it from? I don’t know that’s a good question, where does the media get most of it’s exaggerated and fictitious portrayals? The world may never know. I never see conversations about manhood amongst african men, it’s so sad but not at all surprising. From experience I can attest to the fact that African men like to flaunt their “manhood” more than talk about or develop it. It’s unfortunate but that’s the truth! And when I say I never see African men have discussions about manhood like the ones mentioned in this post from the Good Man Project.. I mean NEVER! It’s as though african men having a legitimate conversation about what manhood is and what it should be is taboo. It’s sad.

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Talk Africa: “Mutilated Dreamers”
FGM. The first time I heard those letters was in a courtroom. My immigration attorney was providing a status report to the presiding judge on the forms of relief my mother would be seeking. In the next few months I... — **Talk Africa: “Mutilated Dreamers”**
FGM. The first time I heard those letters was in a courtroom. My immigration attorney was providing a status report to the presiding judge on the forms of relief my mother would be seeking. In the next few months I would learn that those three letters were the basis for my mother’s asylum claim because my mother was the victim of an old Nigerian tradition that people of my tribe, and many other tribes, in many other nations still practice today.
Female genital mutilation, or FGM, refers to various traditional procedures used to alter or severely injure female genitalia for non-medical reasons. These procedures are typically performed on young girls anytime between infancy and 15 years of age with life changing, and permanently deforming consequences. In the African continent alone, the World Health Organization estimates that about 101 million girls ages 10 and older have undergone FGM.
The more popular reasons cited for performing this procedure include ensuring female chastity for her husband, alleged religious reasons, and removing exterior genitalia seen (by men) as unsightly and unclean. None of the justifications for these procedures have anything to do with the young girls’ desires, needs, or wants. Ultimately, the patriarchal standards set by the elders of that culture are imposed on her at a time when the girl is most vulnerable, most susceptible to cultural pressures, and least equipped to make decisions for herself, let alone fight back. The potential inability to bear children, the pain and suffering, let alone the loss of sexual pleasure are all sacrificed at the alter of masculinity, and tradition.
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Talk Africa: “Afromentality-Shame”
When I tell fellow African people that I am a feminist, I feel that I am admitting to wrongs I have not committed, and failures that are not mine. It is as though I am desecrating some very sacred, very holy balance... — **Talk Africa: “Afromentality-Shame”**
When I tell fellow African people that I am a feminist, I feel that I am admitting to wrongs I have not committed, and failures that are not mine. It is as though I am desecrating some very sacred, very holy balance of African life, because as a feminist it seems I am saying that I do not want a husband, that I prefer women to men, I am a heathen who has no God, and an individual who believes that all forms of dereliction are acceptable. Most importantly, I am fundamentally unAfrican.
So, for me, a young woman who has worked hard to learn about my culture through food, music, art, literature, and politics, to say such a thing seems a contradiction in terms, and a source of deep shame. This shame is born of from the stories of limitation, and conscious and subconscious oppression. This shame is the realization that what I can be, who I can become as a human being is limited by my desire for, and love of culture. More dangerous than that, is that my culture has accepted that limitation, that oppression and demanded that half its population, all its women live lives dictated by their protected positions: mother, sister, aunty, niece, wife and the roles they require.
While this is sad, and the shame it creates is destructive, it is nothing like the shame born, and nurtured within me. This brand of shame comes from the same place of contradictions, but marinades in the gap between my knowledgeable mental self, and my inconsistent overly reactive, fundamentally emotional and psychological self. To you that might seem like a philosophical issue, one that can be simplified and dealt with, in truth, it is a problem far too real, and unfortunately very tangible.
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Women in Africa and the Diaspora: Toyin Odutola

This month as Rise Africa explores Afro-Creation and creativity’s place on the continent, “Women in Africa and the Diaspora” will be highlighting the work of African women in the arts. The arts including dance, theater, fine arts, literature, music and fashion. What impact have African women made and continue to make through their Afro-Creations. Let’s begin to answer that question with the work of Toyin Odutola.

Toyin Odutola was born in Ife, Nigeria. She received a BA in Studio Art and Communications from the University of Alabama in Huntsville and then a MFA from California College of the Arts. Her work has shown in Museums and galleries across the United States including the National Museum of African Art in Washington D.C. and the Honolulu Museum of Art. Odutola is represented by Jack Shainman Gallery in New York.

“Where some may see flat, static narratives, I see a spectrum of tonal gradations and realities. What I am creating is literally black portraiture with ballpoint pen ink. I’m looking for that in-between state in an individual where the overarching definition is lost. Skin as geography is the terrain I expand by emphasizing the specificity of blackness, where an individual’s subjectivity, various realities and experiences can be drawn onto the diverse topography of the epidermis. From there, the possibilities of portraying a fully-fledged person are endless.” -Toyin Odutola

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RE: Talk Africa "The Things We Cling To"

Ekene replied:

I am a Nigerian girl living in Nigeria and I honestly don’t know how I feel about culture and tradition.
The only thing I’ve heard Nigerian women oppose on grounds of culture and tradition is homosexuality.
Every other time they are raised, they are as a shield for man issues, issues that don’t move my gender forward in any way.
They made most of the law or the cultures or traditions as we know it, so it’s perfectly understandable that they don’t want it to change.

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To encourage conversation amongst young Africans as well as members of the diaspora, we’re launching a new series titled “Talk Africa.” We’ll be hosting discussions about various topics that affect Africa in general, specific African nations, African... — To encourage conversation amongst young Africans as well as members of the diaspora, we’re launching a new series titled “Talk Africa.” We’ll be hosting discussions about various topics that affect Africa in general, specific African nations, African people and other affairs relevant to culture, politics, education, news, entertainment, current events, etc. These discussions will be published every Tuesday starting tomorrow night and prompted by Chinwe Ohanele.
This will be open dialogue so please feel free to contribute. If you want to see a certain subject addressed just holler at us and let us know: info@africaisdonesuffering.com

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Everything Changed When The Fire Nation Attacked | Kimani Okearah
Media is a language we’ve developed to communicate on a wide scale. From hieroglyphics to books to television to this sentence you’re reading right now, it’s all a process based on... — **Everything Changed When The Fire Nation Attacked** | Kimani Okearah
Media is a language we’ve developed to communicate on a wide scale. From hieroglyphics to books to television to this sentence you’re reading right now, it’s all a process based on combining our linguistic resources -patterns of movement, symbols, and sounds- to connect to each other. Sometimes this communication is direct, like a live viewing or a VoIP (voice-over internet protocol - think Facetime) conversation. Sometimes it’s passive, like reading an ancient text, swimming in the knowledge of our ancestors. We’re going to use this understanding of media as a language to explore how its misuse can maintain ideological divisions. We’re gonna get down with messaging techniques using the first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender. It gave me life. Maybe I can give it back.
Racism exists as an ideological system of power in Western society. We classify individuals and their communities based on impressions of a global minority - in our reality, it’s various groups of Europeans insisting on an imperial legacy based on their claim to the fabricated concept of “whiteness.” If this system is negative, then it must have a counter, a positive system in which these individuals are exempt from these racial classifications. Unfortunately, no such system exists. If you don’t fit the social perception ascribed to your visual appearance, you’re considered an anomaly. Many of us have lived this, and it doesn’t feel good. This ‘racism, or lack thereof’ approach that we in creative media embrace is a result of exceptionalism (also called Chauvinism for hilarious French reasons). Exceptionalism is the social agreement that the ideology of the dominant group is exceptional, and therefore anything that does not coincide with this ideology is an unwelcome departure. The first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender uses exceptionalism in a reverse binary as a code to both enable and challenge the dominant social ideology. Flameo, hotman!
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Ezibota — Good African Men I have been reading the Good Men...

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RE: Talk Africa "The Things We Cling To"