We’ve already established that startups are nothing but endless uncertainty. It’s natural for us to try to reduce the amounts of uncertainty we deal with by working with or talking to other people.
It’s also no secret that you will get conflicting thoughts and advice any time you talk to someone about your startup. So what is a poor confused entrepreneur to do? How do you know who to listen to and what to do with it?
Here’s the deal. The reason there are so many opinions and so many different ways of looking at a startup situation is precisely that the situation can be seen and can go in any one of those ways (plus the ways that no one has even thought of yet). You can prove this to yourself by thinking of all the different success scenarios from the past. It’s actually possible to find proof that various ways exist to succeed and that some of those ways may even appear to be polar opposites. So it’s precisely the uncertainty of the situation that invites all of the opinions.
It’s tempting to look for the one opinion that is correct. But, hopefully sooner rather than later you realize that the correct opinion simply doesn’t exist. Opinions are just that: opinions. And some of them may even come across quite convincing due to all of the impressive past experience of the person sharing the opinion. And although there’s some validity to the past experience, it’s actually helpful to look at the definition of an opinion here: A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
Pretty dead on.
So with all this in mind, how do you pick who to continue working with or getting advice from? Because we are dealing with uncertainty of outcome with numerous variables, no one opinion will be right. That actually means you get to choose. You may notice that when you work or talk with certain people, you feel empowered. When you work with or talk to others you feel negative and dis-empowered. Although this is not something that’s set in stone for any individual, most people will have a default way of operating in regards to uncertainty. For some people this default is about minimizing their risks, looking for safety, security and known ways of doing things. Others will seek out a way of looking at each situation creatively, looking for solutions, and looking to make the most of what’s going on in creating the future.
I have experienced this in a very literal way in getting recent feedback and advice on Wanelo and having many conversations with really great people about our future. I have noticed that people have varying responses to our growth with some people getting really excited about it and others responding with caution. Our growth is good, but not at a point when there’s no room for interpretation. In other words, it’s up to us to keep going and get it to a point where interpretation is no longer necessary.
Initially, I, too, was in a place of trying to assess our growth as being either good or bad. I have now gotten to a point where I no longer see it as that, but I focus on what we can do with what’s going on and how we move forward rather than seeing our current results as a final destination.
Back to answering the question. The most helpful way to choose who to surround yourself with and who to take advice from is by paying attention to which conversations leave you empowered to move forward and minimizing the conversations that don’t. The second kind of conversations will actually drain your energy and, in the end, assuming that our goal is to produce results, will largely waste your time. Meaning, you will not get results from those conversations. Worse, if you take them for the truth, you might give up altogether.
When you do find those people who leave you empowered, especially in situations of high uncertainty, hold on to them. Those are the people who you want in your support network and who will help you build your business.
