impressioniste:

givethemhorns:

impressioniste:

I had a lot of babbly thoughts in my head upon hearing this quote again in the audio post of this line that I reblogged earlier, but this is way too long for a comment and I hate making huge text posts without cuts, so I’m dumping said babble here.

Part of what really gets to me about this line is that he doesn’t say, ‘future generations,’ or even just, ‘children,’ he says, ‘our children.’

They are very personal things, for him—the concepts of family and children.

I’m pretty sure that he’s very aware that he, himself, is probably never going to have any children, but the subject of family is still extremely important to him. It’s reinforced a few times in his dialogue, one reference which sticks out pretty clearly in my mind, specifically:

“We have toed the line for a thousand years. We have given up our families, any chance for children, any chance for love. And they fear us all the more. We can win no ground with appeasement.”

Being taken from his mother and losing his chance to have a family of his own, in turn, seems to be a wound that’s never really healed.

I think that’s part of what draws him to Hawke and keeps him there, regardless of whether Hawke reciprocates any of those feelings—the dedication that Hawke has to their family, what they’ve been through for the sake of their family. From his perspective, Hawke, of all people, should understand why this is so important to him.

And I believe it’s also large part of what made him open up his clinic in Darktown. We see more children and families in Darktown than anywhere else. There are all these families who have fled the Blight and lost so much, and all they’re trying to do is stay together. And he can help them, by keeping disease and death from tearing more families apart.

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I think people too often forget about that side of him, and, considering that, how much it really must have hurt him to do what he did at the endgame, how necessary he had to have believed that it was, how cornered and helpless and out of options he was, knowing how many people it would ultimately hurt and even kill, and how many families will be torn apart by the coming war.

***

This.

And in the whole concept of Anders being the Martyr that Bioware has been emphasizing, going from a healer to a murderer is the last thing he still has to give for his cause.

It’s scary how things escalate. First it’s his body, then love and any chance of a family, and finally his identity. After all, this is the core thing that he is - a healer. Maybe it’s faulty logic, but once you cross the line from preserving life to destroying it I doubt you can still consider yourself to truly be one. I have seen a lot of people mention that losing Hawke to get his rebellion was the most horrible thing to sacrifice. But I think this one’s worse.

Only makes sense that after that the only thing left that you can take is his life.

———

Cripe Jana, you’re making me cry.