My mom hates this picture. She thinks my smeared eye make-up looks like a black eye. 

But she doesn’t seem to mind the toothpaste AKA fake cum stains. 

On the latest You Up? The Podcast, Dave is out of town.. So I talk to myself.. after drinking two old fashioneds. Just like Don Draper. 

I respond to tweets and texts from You Uppers (yeah, that’s what we’re calling our listeners). I discuss the fine line between creepy and romantic. How Rom Coms aren’t real life (sadly), and where to take a first date. Oh and I play a voicemail from that guy who waited a week… yep a WEEK to text me. Add that to the list of things you don’t want to hear when you’re getting dumped. 

And because I’m clearly so over this… here’s a Thought Catalog article about it too

As a little preview of what’s in store. Here’s my friend g-chatting me a play by play of the pod: