[TW - body policing, weight loss]
I’m so frustrated and I’m not sure if this is the right place to post but I feel so angry and need to share what I experienced this week.
So, I try to avoid following ‘fitspo’ pages on Instagram, I find that they encourage disordered eating and I don’t like seeing 'inspiring’ posts that encourage behaviour like 'if you’re not hurting, you’re not working hard enough’. It’s just wrong - if you’re hurting, you could be possibly injuring yourself and you should STOP. I’m 5,3 and about 220 pounds, I’m happy with my weight - I eat well and walk often. However, my friend (thin) starting tagging me in 'transformation posts’ on a personal trainers account, not any of the food pictures or anything else - JUST the transformation photos with comments like 'wow this is so impressive’ and 'look what can be achieved’ and other comments obviously pointing to me and my weight.. I started to become quite upset about it because these aren’t big girls to start with, they are THIN girls, doing the program and getting THINNER and more toned. None of them look like me to begin with. It started to really get to me and affect my self-esteem, so one day after being tagged in another photo I broke down and brought the program. As I read the first few pages I saw one paragraph about how if you weren’t extremely fit you shouldn’t try it and that you would need to do weeks of cardio before you’re allowed to use it… After spending close to $70 I was outraged, I couldn’t even use it, I tried to contact the PT to ask for my money back as there was no warning or disclaimer until after I had paid the money. So..now only skinny girls can have access to great exercise programs? Now it’s not good enough even to be thin now? You have to be tiny, with abs and definition? Just writing this brings me to tears, I’m sick of seeing tiny girls have more opportunities, more resources just handed to them. I haven’t wanted to eat or leave the house, I feel sick - Thin Privilege is having everyone on your side to make you feel and look better.
