On a friend’s Facebook page someone mentioned that “Social Justice Warrior” was an accusation that sounds like a character class.

So of course, me being me…

Level 1 Attack: “Privilege Check.” bestows the “bigoted” status on enemies. Enemies with bigoted status cannot heal until consuming a “public apology” potion, or have the “unapologetic” passive ability.

Level 2 spell: “Trigger Warning.” …Gives rest of party insight to an enemy’s offensive maneuvers, giving them a bonus to defense against enemy attacks for the rest of the combat.

Level 3 Attack: “Scathing article.” Gives a bonus to damage when attacking an enemy with “Bigoted” status. High damage, but leaves opponent open for attack.

Level 4 Passive Ability: “Backlash resistance” Grants an armor bonus to enemy attacks immediately following a successful “Scathing Article” attack.

Level 5 attack: “Minor Protest:” One other party member may have a free attack on a single enemy during Social Justice Warrior’s turn.

Level 6 support ability: “Expose Emails:” Social Justice Warrior exposes vitriolic comments to an expressed opinion, granting the rest of the party a rage bonus to hit and damage.

Level 7 passive ability: Can use bows.

Level 8 passive ability: “Detect cultural appropriation” Social Justice Warrior gets a free attack any time an enemy performs an action performed by a party member in a previous round.

Level 9 attack: “Major Protest” Entire party may have a free attack on a single enemy during Social Justice Warrior’s turn.

Level 10 spell:“Summon Media Satire:” This devastating attack summons giant creatures from the Daily Show, Colbert, and Onion dimensions to do massive damage to entire group of enemies and give them penalties to attack for duration of combat.

Saving this for my Wiscon panel for sure.