Yesterday I started a cleanse I found in “If Buddha Came to Dinner” by Hale Sofia Schatz.  The first week is only fruits and veggies (and there’s a list of which ones).  The second week you add nuts, grains and seeds (another list).  The last week you add protein (and another list).  I’m modifying the length of the cleanse because I want to eat whatever I want on my one year anniversary.  I’m doing fruits and veggies for a week and then adding protein the second week, skipping the grains, nuts and seeds.

Yesterday was rough.  I forgot how quickly fruits and veggies make it through your system, and I was hungry most of the day.  I bought extra groceries to keep myself from starving these next couple of days. Then today I stuffed myself full of zucchini at lunch because I was scared of getting hungry an hour later.  Only I can eat to the point of uncomfortable with a plate of zucchini.

Part of the cleanse is to also try to eat mindfully.  I am not good at that.  I keep eating with distractions.  At least I’m chewing my food completely though, even if I do chew it fast sometimes.  I do truly appreciate vegetables right now though.  Eating them by themselves somehow makes them taste so much better.

So far the only side effect is a mild headache.  Nothing I can’t handle though.  I’m excited to see how I feel after these two weeks!

On Saturday I went on my first hike with other humans since I don’t know when.  Actually, I do know when.  While stationed in San Diego I hiked in Mission Trails with a friend.  Before that was with my family in junior high.  I digress.  I must say it was definitely a different experience not hiking by myself.

Let’s start off with the not as good.  I don’t want to say bad because it honestly wasn’t bad, I just wish it would have been different.  I didn’t take as many pictures because I either didn’t want to hold the others up if I was in front of them, or make them wait for me because I was so far behind them.  This is my own problem, but I wouldn’t have felt this way if I were alone.  Lunch occurred at a place I would not have chosen.  I understand the hike leader NEEDED to eat at that very moment (it happens), but I would have preferred a better view for my lunch break.  And come to find out we were a five minute hike from a great view with some good rocks for seats.  Ah well.

Now on to the good, or even great.  The other two women on the hike were amazing.  I don’t really have any friends in my area.  There certainly aren’t many folks I know in general who would want to go on a ten mile hike or go backpacking.  Here I was with two women who love hiking and the outdoors.  Like me, they both got along with men better and preferred working with men.  One lady, Joanne, also didn’t really have any friends.  Also like me, she has a vagabond spirit, but her husband is very much a grounded and “settled” kind of person.  Sounds familiar.  She told me she thinks her life has been as good as it is because she didn’t marry another vagabond.  This gave me a warm fuzzy.  Joanne really is an amazing woman, and talking to her really made me feel less awkward and unsure about myself and the feelings and urges I have.  If she’s okay then I’ll be okay.

In general though, doing a day hike with other folks is a great experience, especially since I didn’t know anybody.  I love getting to know new people.  It was nice to have conversation on the trail.  After the hike we all went to the Timerwood Grill for beer and dinner.  It made me so happy!  I love beer and food after a hike, and sharing it with other great people was really wonderful.  I will definitely try to go on another one of these hikes again.

I’m 5’ 3" tall, currently weigh around 138 lbs and wear between a size 8 and 10, depending on the brand. I’m not skinny and I’m not overweight. I do believe I could stand to lose a few pounds though. Not because I think I look fat or unattractive, but because it would be healthier. And I would love to be able to fit into all of my jeans. I currently only fit into two of my six pairs of jeans. I don’t fit into any of the nice clothes own. I would like to fit into my clothes.

When I’m a little fluffier I prefer to wear my husband’s shirts because they fit more loosely. My shirts fit tighter than I would like. I don’t think I look bad, I’m just not comfortable wearing tight shirts.

When I tell other females this they often get a disgusted look and tell me I look fine. That’s not my point. Not once did I say I was unhappy with the way I look. I simply want to fit into the hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of clothes I own. Then I get the eye roll and often say, just buy new clothes.

I don’t want to buy new clothes. I like the clothes I have. I don’t want to spend extra money to allow myself to carry around unnecessary weight I would be better off without. The last time I bought bigger clothes each time my clothes didn’t fit I got up to a size 16 and couldn’t see my cheekbones anymore, or my belt because my gut covered it. I don’t want to go there again.

Why can’t some women just accept the fact that I can be happy with my body even though I want to lose weight? Why do they try to make me feel bad for wanting to wear the clothes I own. Why do they dismiss my feelings just because they think I look fine? I’ve been told by friends I need to not talk about my weight and waistline to women who are bigger than me. Why? I’m not trying to make anybody feel bad or hint at anything regarding their weight. I’m only talking about my weight, my body and my feelings.

Last April I bought everything I needed to go backpacking, and that summer I went backpacking for the very first time.  I love self transportation, and backpacking is so much more than that.  Not only are you walking/hiking to your destination, but you’re bringing with you everything you need to survive.

I didn’t quite bring everything I needed to survive, and I brought some stuff I didn’t need to survive.  After I got my permit at the entrance station I went to the trail head and started pulling out my equipment.  I had forgotten matches or a lighter.  I probably had enough snacks to not starve, but I was really looking forward to using my tiny little camp stove to cook my dinner.  There was a couple at the trail head, and they didn’t have matches or lighter.  Determined to start my trip on time I started my hike anyway.

After about 15 minutes I looked around and discovered I was no longer on a trail.  Somehow I had picked my way through the woods, convinced I was on a trail.  I was not.  I pulled out my ill-equipped map of the entire park, not just of the trails where I was hiking and tried to figure out where I was from where I started.  I thought I was on the east side of the AT.  In theory, as long as I hiked west I should come upon the AT at some point.

Using the compass on my camera as a guide I started hiking up.  The thick layer of leaves made it hard to make my way up so I broke out my trekking poles to help me along.  A grueling 30 minutes later, with scratches on my legs and debris in my shoe, I made it to the AT.  This is when I learned to ALWAYS look for the trail blazes.

On the trail I saw a group of women and asked if they had the means to make fire.  One lady did and gave me her waterproof matches.  Lifesaver!  While on the trail I met a man hiking by himself who was an engineer that lived near Washington DC.  We chatted for a bit, and then I made my way to my campsite for the night.

People you meet on the trail are awesome.  That’s all there is to it.  Even though you don’t know each other you know something about each other.  You share a love and a knowledge that comes from hiking and spending the night in the great outdoors with only what you carried on your back.  Some folks said it wasn’t safe for me to go backpacking on my own because you don’t know what kind of crazies are out there.  I knew exactly what kind of crazies were out there, crazies like me.

As far as items I brought that I didn’t need…a small but awesome collapsible camping chair.  There were lots of rocks and logs to sit on.  My electric toothbrush.  Sure it was only a one night trip, but rather than lug that stupid thing around I should have been practicing for longer trips and brought a normal, cut down toothbrush.  I brought my warm, wool base layers for a hike in the middle of summer.  Needless to say I never pulled those out of my bag.

I also learned that my shoes weren’t exactly comfortable for hiking.  I had used them for the trail marathon and I ran, and I figured if there were good for 26.2 miles they would be good for a 15 mile hike.  Wrong!  26.2 miles of running on a fairly flat trail is not the same as hiking hours and hours on a trail with steep climbs and descents.  My feet hurt.  Next time I would need different shoes.

Regardless of all the things I did wrong or did right, I had a great time.  I felt fantastic afterwards and really enjoyed myself.  I also learned a lot on that trip that I would remember for my next backpacking trip.

This morning I walked over to the scaled that is tucked away in the bathroom we barely use and I stepped on it. Not like squished a big stepped on it. I weighed myself for the first time in months. I estimated at least a 15 pound weight gain considering how tight my clothes are. Wrong!

I actually only gained ten pounds! The news is both good and bad. The good news is I only have to lose ten pounds (15 pounds if I want to get in really good shape and really slim down). The bad news is I clearly don’t have to gain all that much weight to not fit into my clothes. I need to be careful in the future if I want to keep fitting into my small wardrobe.