scripts and scraps from my real-life parenting sitcom
Me: | "You have something on your nose."
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Luke: | [age 9] "Did you know that the Egyptians took out their brains through their noses when they were making someone into a mummy? They sucked it out with like a turkey baster or something."
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Me: | "Let's not talk about that at dinner."
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Luke: | "Okay. How about zombie blood?"
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Me: | "Um, no."
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Beth: | [age 5] "We could talk about aliens!"
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Me: | "That sounds good. What about aliens?"
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Beth: | "Alien BOOGERS!"
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Luke: | "Alien POOP!"
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Me: | "Seriously? We're in a restaurant."
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Luke: | "We could talk about people getting eaten by bears."
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Me: | "No."
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Luke: | "Why not? I bet nobody here has been eaten by a bear." |
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