Asshole rifles

Luke:	[age 9] "I'm supposed to write about some kind of debate at school."
Mom:	"What kind of debate?"
Luke:	"I'm supposed to pick something that people have opinions about. Like the laws about dogs on leashes in the park."
Me:	"Okay. Do you want to write about that?"
Luke:	"I was thinking about writing about asshole rifles."
Mom and I:	[glancing at each other] "Say that again?"
Luke:	[repeats] "I was thinking about writing about asshole rifles. Like, I don't think regular people should be able to buy machine guns."
Me:	[giggling] "You mean /assault/ rifles, not /asshole/ rifles."
Luke:	"I said /ass-holed/ but I've never heard anyone say the word. I just saw it in writing."
Mom:	"Well, it's /assault/. An /asshole/ refers to either your butt hole or perhaps to a jerk you're /calling/ a butthole."
Luke:	[now giggling] "That's not the kind of debate I can have, I think."
Me:	"Don't try to debate assault rifles until you can pronounce the words correctly. Seriously. And there some pretty strong opinions on both sides of that issue."
Luke:	"So it's... /assholed/ rifles? What was it again?"
Mom:	"ASSAULT. Like A-SALT."
Me:	"Like the gun is made out of salt: A. Salt. Rifle."
Luke:	"Assault. Assault. Assault."
Beth:	[age 6] "What does /assault/ mean anyway?"
Mom:	"It means to attack. Assault rifles aren't designed for hunting deer, like Grandpa's rifles; they're designed for shooting people."
Luke:	"Not for attacking assholes."
Me:	"That may be a matter of opinion."