I’m an eternal optimist and the newness of a year really gets me excited. I love setting goals and just giving my perspective a good scrubbing.

Maybe I’m a little naive when it comes to my approach because I’m always taken aback when I see people yelling at cashiers, throwing cigarette butts out of their car windows, or cutting people off on the highway on a January 2nd morning. What? I thought we were all trying to spread love and better ourselves?!  I’m guilty of getting tripped up and weighed down by other people’s attitudes and actions.  This year I want to do my best to pick up the slack when someone is having a bad day and let it not cloud my desires to grow into a woman I really like.  There is no room to get bogged down by pettiness.

This past year and the latter part of 2015 was spent developing myself as a mother and a nurturer. It took me by surprise by how much I loved nearly every moment of being a parent. That said, I didn’t think being a mom would be so hard and engrossing. I thought balance would be easier to come by. Another naive thought I suppose. While my heart grew immensely, my creative muscles atrophied and my social calendar remained intentionally sparse. 

Now it’s time for me to marry the deep rooted parts of my self with my newfound abilities. I feel mentally and physically ready a year of further growth. To get to that place I had to forgive myself and let go of certain notions. Recently I admitted to myself that having a career at this stage in my life is not where my heart presently lies. At all. For months and months I searched for that desire and felt deep guilt and pressure to find it, but I never could. My peace for now is at home and I feel so fortunate to have such a choice. So in my home, in my time, in this new year, I’m dissecting my focus and aiming to be more active, more present, more artistic, more sociable, more gracious, and less in want. 

It feels nice to write again and to say it in this space. 

Wishing you all a beautiful year. 

1// I ate dinner at 5 pm and I hope to be in bed by 9:30 at the latest. I don’t hate it. Sometimes I can’t believe I used to actually leave the house around 10 or 11 pm on a Friday night to go out. That’s how I got here though; went out to an Irish bar after work, met a guy, moved the next day, married that guy, moved all over the East coast, and had a baby who wakes up at the crack of dawn ready to party. 

2// Alex insisted that I put my book down to watch Snakes on a Plane with him. I thought he was kidding. No, he said I could not be distracted watching it. Must say, it’s better than I expected. Taylor Kitsch sighting check! But since I can’t just sit there and watch a movie like a normal person, we compromised and I said I would like to mindlessly surf tumblr while it’s on. If I were on twitter though, this would be the perfect movie to live tweet. My feed would probably look something like this: “Sam Jackson looks so healthy then, what’s going on now?! Sam, are you okay??” -  “If that kitty gets eaten I’m out,”, - “Sticking it out, need to make sure Taylor Kitsch’s perfect face doesn’t get eaten,” and “This is too stressful, thank god the scientist said “time is tissue” or I might have taken this cinematic masterpiece too seriously.”

3// I’m currently reading Modern Lovers by Emma Straub. It’s chick lit, which I don’t love, but I was in need of a light read after finishing up When Breath Becomes Air and Between the World and Me. If you don’t have the Overdrive app then you are missing out. This app and the amazing New York library system and technology have really helped me make a dent in my impossible reading goal. 

4// Marcus turned nine months old yesterday. No question, he is my most favorite person ever.

 5// Roughly two weeks until we leave for our much needed vacation to the Catskills. I was feeling like I was all set with what I wanted to bring and then I caught wind of Anthropologie’s tag sale. This silk skirt has me reevaluating it all. 

Love- Is all I want to demonstrate and spread. The weekend news brought such a hard blow onto the world. I know that love and goodness outnumbers the evil, but sadly those filled with hate and misunderstanding are so compelled by their convictions it still makes a dent. I hope and pray that the light from this will be a harder look on our gun laws, our love and acceptance of people from all communities, and demonstrate that we are all connected. 

Southern Charm- It’s my guilty pleasure and brought a little humor to the close of such a nasty weekend ending. Gosh, it’s so deliciously bad. The Thomas-Katherine train is crazy. That said, I can’t look away. I’d love to hang out with Landon and  have Cameran divulge all of her beauty secrets on me, though I suspect it’s a discretionary use of Botox. 

Baby- Marcus is 8.5 months old now and we are in the most delightful and destructive age yet. Nothing is safe. My design aesthetic is forcefully going through a metamorphosis to adapt. House plants, pretty trays, fresh flowers, candles, books,-Bye! I’ll miss you. I will instead be comforted by my baby boy’s sweet snuggles, giggles, hideous primary colored baby contraptions, and the occasional hair pulling. 

Move List- Alex just received his broadening assignment list. This is typically what military officers do after their company command is over. There are a few locations I was hoping that would be on there (Colorado Springs and Savannah) that aren’t and a few pleasantly surprising ones (The Netherlands, Germany, Canada, DC). I’m nervous and excited for what’s to come. No matter what, I hope this assignment will offer a slower pace than the last 2.5 years have. Command, while so rewarding for him and our family in so many ways, has been so depleting energy wise.  Despite the long and hard winters I have grown to love Northern New York so much, which is a 180 from my attitude when I learned we were moving to a frozen tundra. Summers here are so dreamy though and the locals, the sights, and the charm makes it all worthy of enduring year after year. But by August we will know where we are headed next and I imagine by the new year we’ll be there. 

Vacay- In a few weeks Alex, Marcus, and I are soon taking a weeklong trip to Phoenicia in the Catskills. We’ve rented an adorable little AirBnB located downtown and thanks to Grace Bonney’s incredibly detailed Ulster County guide, I have stalked nearly every diner, coffee shop, restaurant, hiking trail, and cute little boutique in fifty square miles.