I am only just a girl from Iowa with a nursing...

I am only just a girl from Iowa with a nursing degree, but I’ll describe this to the best of my ability.

The UPS truck came up our lane. It had to go slowly, because we still don’t have gravel and there are a few muddy waterholes.
Chuckie heard the tell tale engine sound and woke from a sound chair nap. He began barking and leapt into action, running from the living room to the back door like a fucking nut job as he is wont to do.
Chuck woke Duffy up, and Duff began the reflex second dog bark. He also jumped down and looked a little dazed while barking intermittently.
The Big Brown truck pulled up and backed in toward the garage so he could pull straight out to leave. They don’t usually do this, but whatever.
By now Chuckie is flinging his body at the door and running back into the living room by turn, of course still barking his head off.
The delivery man had a huuuge box, maybe 4’x2’. He kind of walk/ran up onto the deck at which time Chuckie’s frenzy reached a whole new level. As he barked and flung himself against the back door,
A LONE POOP SHOT OUT OF HIS BUTT
and onto the kitchen floor.
Duffy and I looked at each other. Duff was all like, “Uh oh. IT WASN’T ME.”
Chuckie just kept flinging.
The end.

Perfect.