I feel really, really strange.
It’s sort of a combination of restless and listless combined with fear and sadness.
I want to do so many different things but don’t feel like doing anything at all. Just sit here. Sit here and pass the time. It’s painful.
I have NO emotional energy, and I mean zero. I’ve used it all up the past few days. It’s so bad that I get instantly aggravated and annoyed when my parents start talking to me, such that I end up embarrassing myself by appearing mad about things for which there’s no logical reason to be mad.
I’m not good enough at anything to enjoy it, which bothers me greatly as well. For example, I really want to play my guitars, but I’m afraid somebody will hear.
Everything is a mess in here and nothing is working properly and my car is damaged and everything just sucks, I guess.
I’m terrified for Friday and I just really don’t have the energy to talk to anybody right now. I hate being ignored and I hate ignoring people, but I just can’t bear the thought of trying to hold a conversation right now. I have no desire to interact at all, period.