- Showdown in Cowtown

Showdown in Cowtown

Peaches, Paula Deen, and casual racism weigh heavy in this squatch watcher’s stomach. So you can imagine how relieved I was to hear rumblings of Goatman sightings in the southwest. I could finally leave backwardass Georgia and set my moccasins for the much more progressive, Texas. The shores of Lake Worth to be exact.

The Goatman of Lake Worth comes from a long line of Goat-people that currently roam forests not only around the country but internationally as well. The most famous example being the Goat-People who protect the shores of the Loch Ness. It is a little known fact that the Loch Ness Monster is a story made up in order to keep the existence of Goat-People underwraps. But hey that’s a whole ‘nother story! The Goatman or men we are talking about first landed in Maryland sometime in the 1820’s, heard about all the chili & racism down in Texas and couldn’t resist migrating sometime in the free loving 60’s when sightings of the beast first happened near the Lake. In 1963 teenagers who totally weren’t experimenting with LSD started witnessing a Goatman creature that looked like a “Man and a goat, but combined.” The local sheriff laughed the reports off, as was the fashion for sheriffs at the time, until one Tommy Brunson reported that while him and his sweetheart were ‘necking’ the creature leaped from a tree and attacked the car leaving an 18inch gash in the side. The sheriff had no choice but to ignore this report as well. The inaction of law enforcement and the National Parks Service to stop these violent attacks on couples drove other eyewitnesses into hiding causing reports to die off until a rash of attacks occurred in 2012. As many as one report was filed that quoted “a 7-9ft tall, sex crazed Goatman that was literally trying to lay anything in sight, chicks, dudes, animals… it made me feel weird.” The evidence and attacks are piling up, when will the national media or the National Parks Service step up to protect our cars! Picture evidence below my friends.