stuffimgoingtohellfor:

Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Thor (Marvel)

Additional Tags: Romantic Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Unrequited Love, Bisexual Character, Asexual Character, Trans Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Mental Health Issues, Sex Toys, Dildos, Masturbation, Bottom Steve Rogers, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Summary:

Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America’s own anatomy. Well, isn’t this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

Note: although this is a romantic comedy that attempts to be funny and silly, this is still Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers we’re talking about. So be warned for mental health/recovery issues, therapeutic frustrations, awkward confessions, spirals of self-hate, and mentions of past internalized biphobia. But also: nosy friends, shopping montages, ghostly vanishing dildos, too much takeout, and a happy ending.

I’M SO HAPPY THIS GOT EXPANDED. AND OMG IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS I BUSTED A RIB LAUGHING. (go read)

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    I’M SO HAPPY THIS GOT EXPANDED. AND OMG IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS I BUSTED A RIB LAUGHING. (go read)

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