I tried to start this blog months ago–well, it has been many years in the making, through encouragement and desire–but had no direction or vision for it. I have been off cooking recently, wanting only to sample the ingenuity and effort of other culinary enthusiasts. I find myself still critical, able to think of improvements and flavor flaws. Rather than being inspired to do it better, I have only found myself disappointed. People have shot recipes at me from all over, and upon asking what I thought, I feel guilty like I must lie about my reasons for not even purchasing the ingredients. It is my dirty little secret that I cannot bring myself to sauté. I even went as far as The French Laundry to cure my malaise, and came back fuller than I have ever been, but not inspired to pick up my japanese steel and Le Creuset.

It is a strange phenomenon for me, as usually I dream recipes and wake up needing to try them out for memory and also curiosity’s sake. For instance, can I make a walnut pesto with desiccated cranberries and a sticky maytag bleu? Can I make crackers from slices of white stilton stuffed figs wrapped in prosciutto for my Hennesey and cacao infused fromage blanc? Or would is be better served on crimini rubbed sweet baguettes, grilled to a perfect crunch with good orange olive oil from the farm I sponsor in Tuscany? These are recipes from my dreams…

Maybe it is the clean up, perhaps the prospect of cooking for garbage disposals; I cannot fathom why cooking has become tiresome. Still, my favorite reading materials include recipes, togo menus and The Sun.

Yesterday, I finished the BluePrintCleanse. Which, to some extent was a waste of 300 dollars, as I do not feel healthier. But, I was simply interested in trying this fading fad, and considering the current state of my relationship with cooking, I did not want to make juice, find good cleanse schedules, etc… Also, the incentive to finish such an investment is greater when you have actually invested your wallet as well.

For anyone interested in trying it, I recommend it. There are other options such as the Cooler Cleanse, that will deliver to your home. The best thing would be to find a local company that juices and delivers daily. Examples are Organic Avenue in NYC and Living Greens or Cafe Gratitude in SF. A tip I wish someone had bestowed on me earlier is, prepare like crazy. You’ll get the most out of the cleanse if you not only wean yourself off, but on. I did not feel hungry from the lack of solids, but I was colder than usual and I never thought about how much I would have to pee on a liquid diet. I also feel like I could go two more days, but then I would have to start thinking about intestine things. I am not sure about my feelings on colonics and the salt water flush. To be very literal, that scares the crap out of me. What if the flora gets out of whack and I create a lifelong IBS problem for myself? Anyway, the research is all out there, you just have to want to find it. And now that I have, my friends are interested in jumping on the bandwagon. Let me be clear: my GUY friends are all into the idea. Maybe I will do the Cooler Cleanse five-day with them so we can cheerlead.

The one interesting effect is, I am now renewed in my joy for cooking. I cannot stop reading recipes and thinking about what to cook this week and what parties to throw. As I mentioned, I was not unreasonably hungry at any point during the cleanse, I simply missed the flavors and social aspect of eating. I think this has spurned a new dawn of cooking for me, that hopefully this blog can chronicle and solidify for when my recollection gets hazy. Please enjoy, share thoughts and meet your own resurrection. :)

<3, -Jessa