Holly Bailey

A man in Miami walked into a convenience store with a four-foot alligator and tried to swap it for a twelve-pack of cold beer — and none of this Natty Light nonsense. By this guy’s logic, an animal of this caliber commands high-quality beer; he tells CBS, “I want a Corona, because the alligator is so beautiful.” The cashier didn’t bite and instead called the police, Florida Fish and Wildlife released the gator back into the wild, and the man faces felony misdemeanor charges for possession of a gator with intent to sell.

Florida Man Tries to Barter Live Alligator for Beer (via Grub Street)

The Jacksonville, Florida, sheriff’s office released a description of a man they say allegedly became so upset after another car maneuvered around him in the Chick-fil-A drive-through lane that he produced a semi-automatic handgun and fired a round into the offensive customer’s car. The bullet shattered the car’s rear window and no one was hurt. The suspect, who is also said to have uttered “some various curse words” just before the incident, fled on foot after yesterday morning’s shooting, apparently because he chickened out.

Chick-fil-A Customer Shoots Car That Cut in Front of Him in Drive-through Line (via Grub Street)

Fifty-two-year-old Chautauqua County man Brian Malta was arrested this week for aiming a real, vintage cannon — with powder and wadding, but sans balls — toward the homes of those with whom he disagreed about whatever it is people fight about up there. (Guns? Beer?) “Mr. Malta vigorously disputes the allegations against him,” his attorney said, “and looks forward to the full truth of the matter coming out in the appropriate arena, which is a court of law,” not the battlefield.

Aiming an unloaded cannon at someone. That’s new. (via Daily Intel)

Seems like a different slideshow might have been more fitting for this crazy gator invades a Florida Wal-Mart story (via Washington Post)

A Queens man became a social-media folk hero earlier this week when he casually strolled into a fast-food establishment talking on his cell phone with a kitchen knife sticking not discreetly out of his back. Today, Andrew Hardy breaks his silence in an interview with where else but the New York Post: It was his daughter on the phone, and he was canceling their plans to see Think Like a Man Too. Because of the knife. “She got hysterical, naturally … but I still kept my cool because, if I had really got hurt, stabbed-stabbed, I would have really known that it had hit some vital,” said Hardy, who’d intervened in a street fight. “Shit,” he added, “I got a cool demeanor.” And there’s your movie slogan.

Most random “Think Like a Man” reference ever ( “Man Who Walked Into McDonald’s With a Knife in His Back Says He Just Has a ‘Cool Demeanor’” via Daily Intel)

Los Angeles, 2016 (at Los Angeles, California)
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