My Top 25 Parental Confessions

I haven’t simultaneously laughed and nodded this much since I saw the last Tom Ford video. 

This is the greatest thing EVER! Holy shit.

mypatheticblog:

Bless me child for I have sinned. It’s been your lifetime since my last confession and I feel like I need to come clean. I have lied to you, stolen your property and coveted your dinner, as well as youth.

I am your father, but I haven’t always been a parent. I used to be just like you. I was an immature, unorganized mess of a human being skating on the edge of a downward spiral. But you made me. You made me a man who is responsible for another, and then three others.

There are four of you children and I confess that I am not always truthful about who I am and how I get by. There are things that I must do, discretion that I must make to get through my days as a parent. I will not share all my secrets, but I will shed some light on some of what you do not know.

So here are the first 25 confessions that come to mind.

1. I had sex with your mother in your bedroom long before it was your bedroom, but the memory still lives there.
2. I pop your balloons when you are at school.
3. I throw away your drawings, but I have saved every birthday card you ever made for me.
4. I am the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. However, Santa Claus is real.
5. Calliou has always been our go-to babysitter when Mom and Dad need some adult alone time. Because of that Calliou’s theme song kind of turns me on.

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