Selections from Bluets
13. At a job interview at a university, three men sitting
across from me at a table. On my CV it says that I am cur-
rently working on a book about the color blue. I have been
saying this for years without writing a word. It is, per-
haps, my way of making my life feel “in progress” rather
than a sleeve of ash falling off a lit cigarette. One of the
men asks, Why blue? People ask me this question often. I
never know how to respond. We don’t get to choose what
or whom we love, I want to say. We just don’t get to
choose.
35. Does the world look bluer from blue eyes? Probably
not, but I choose to think so (self-aggrandizement).
65. The instructions printed on the blue junk’s wrapper:
Wrap Blue in cloth. Stir while squeezing the Blue in the last
rinsing water. Dip articles separately for a short time; keep
them moving. I liked these instructions. I like blues that
keep moving.
71. I have been trying, for some time now, to find dignity
in my loneliness. I have been finding this hard to do.
75. Mostly I have felt myself becoming a servant of sad-
ness. I am still looking for the beauty in that.
81. What I know: when I met you, a blue rush began. I
want you to know, I no longer hold you responsible.
135. Of course one can have “the blues” and stay alive, at
least for a time. “Productive,” even (the perennial conso-
lation!). See, for example, “Lady Sings the Blues”: “She’s
got them bad / She feels so sad / Wants the world to know
/ Just what her blues is all about.” Nonetheless, as Billie
Holiday knew, it remains the case that to see blue in
deeper and deeper saturation is eventually to move to-
ward darkness.
185. Perhaps this is why writing all day, even when the
work feels arduous, never feels to me like “a hard day’s
work.” Often it feels more like balancing two sides of an
equation–occasionally quite satisfying, but essentially a
hard and passing rain. It, too, kills the time.
238. I want you to know, if you ever read this, there was a
time when I would rather have had you by my side than
any one of these words; I would rather have had you by
my side than all the blue in the world.
–Maggie Nelson, from Bluets (Wave Books, 2009)
I have been wanting to write about this collection for quite some time now, but I couldn’t figure out a good way to approach it. The collection is a series of short prose poems, many of which incorporate historical facts, mythological references, literary references an quotes, as well as many other bits of researched information. However, the collection is also extremely personal and the research and references work as a vehicle for the personal elements; they make the focus of the poems even sharper.
Last night, a fellow writer asked a question about a certain type of poem, addresses, and what makes them successful. My response was that the form itself calls for the writer to be more specific. As I thought about this even more, I realized it all comes down to one thing: modality. This collection covers a vast array of very personal issues, including love, depression, and writing. Each prose poem is a very intricate examination of these things, and even though the separate numbered item spirals into being from the one before it, each stands on its own as a snapshot. Every individual poem captures a very specific moment and emotion.
This form works well for these topics because it allows both distance and intimacy. With each prose poem, we zoom in on specific images like blue eyes and ash falling from a cigarette, but then at the same time, we’re learning to cope with darkness, loneliness, and finding balance. The variation creates movement in the poem and draws us in deeper, but the running thread of blue throughout the collection makes the reader even more connected to the poems, the images, and the emotions.
I love this collection because it takes me on a journey that winds and twists back on itself, and addresses familiar topics and feelings in a way that is new and refreshingly honest.
-S
