“I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird, and it freaks me out. And I’m sorry I don’t talk like Murphy Brown And I hate your pantsuit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it just slightly cuter. And that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.” Jess, The New Girl
I come from a long line of strong women. Women who bucked at what was socially acceptable, women who survived heartache, and women who did things that they were told they could not do.
They were/are also women who were their own people, who had their own personalities and style and sense of self.
These are the women who helped make me the woman I am today. A woman who likes to think of herself as a feminist (even though I loathe labels/titles), and who also considers herself a human. I am raising two daughters, and one of the things I try to teach them is to accept others for who they are and to not tear others down for the way they look/dress/live/love/etc.
I think that is why I get so angry when I witness some of the ugliness that comes to play, online and offline, under the guise of feminism. Most of it is women on women/girl on girl hate, and all it reminds me of is junior high and the mean girls who treated me horribly (and then in a next generation treated my oldest daughter horribly).
The New Girl is a TV show starring Zooey Deschanel as the title character, Jess. Yes, I know that Zooey has been an internet “darling” for quite some time. The reigning queen of quirky and indie, and well-loved (or at least well-reblogged) around tumblr. I’ve always enjoyed Zooey’s performances, and her work with M. Ward, in the band She & Him. Of course, I’ve always loved quirky, and my oldest, like-a-sister friend, and Zooey, could easily share a closet of clothes (said friend, another tough woman in my life, survivor of an abusive marriage, single Mom of three, etc.) I have watched The New Girl, and find it one of the funniest shows currently on TV. I also find Jess to be a portrayal of a genuine person who seems strong in who they are, and persists in being themselves - something I find admirable, and hope my daughters are growing up to be, as well.
I think that is why I am upset by the copious amounts of ugliness I have been seeing online and offline about The New Girl and the character of Jess. I have read that Jess is a bad role model to feminist girls, that the girly-quirky-naive persona of Jess feeds into male fantasy stereotypes and perpetuates women as weak and stupid. Thing is, I do not see this in the character of Jess at all, or at least no more than any of us are sometimes weak or stupid, or some kind of “stereotype”.
As far as Jess being a role model? Well, I guess I want my girls to find role models wherever they find them. I’d say that I do not want them sought after on television, but that would be terribly hypocritical of me since Lorelai (Gilmore Girls) and Buffy are both role models to me to some regard, as was Wonder Woman and Nancy Drew growing up. That said, I don’t think the character of Jess (or Zooey Deschanel, for that matter) is meant to speak as all women, or as any spokeswoman to any/all female generations. Though, I do think the fact that she seems unwavering in being herself, even if others poke fun at her and criticize her is worthy to take note of, and applaud.
What I honestly think should not be happening is that creator of the show, Liz Meriweather should have to be apologizing and changing the tonality of the show to make it more acceptable to those who deem it anti-feminist.
When asked on the subject, Zooey Deschanel’s response (from EW Weekly) was:
Besides, Deschanel doesn’t want to engage in what she views as a self-destructive fight waged by women against women. For her, this is just sexism disguised as a war on girliness. “I’ve examined and reexamined myself,” she says, curling up in her trailer near a giant butterfly balloon. “And I really don’t feel that liking to wear dresses is a problem for the feminist world.”
Maybe my idea of feminism, of being a woman and a human being, of being yourself is not of the current model of acceptability, but it is how I view my definitions of feminism, and myself as a woman. I persist in being the woman I am, and sometimes I am naive, sometimes I wear dresses, sometimes I fall in love and get married, sometimes I cry, sometimes I feel week, and sometimes I fight battles that I am told I cannot win.
I know this is a bit of a ramble, and may not flow well, as I do not have time to rewrite/edit/take the time I should with this - but I wanted to write something, to say something, because this has been really bothering me.
I’d love feedback, which does not have to agree with me, honestly, I would just love to hear/read what others feel about this and also know if anyone else is bothered by this.
