Look at your school of witchcraft and wizardry. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your school is not mine, but if you all got off your broomsticks and started using a real sorcerer’s deodorant, it could smell like mine. Abracadabra! I’m a horse.

Good. Night. I’m done.

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

I AM ALARMED. WHICH ONE IS THE HUFFLEPUFF ONE? THE YELLOW ONE HAS BIRDS AND THAT CONFUSES ME.

It is AMERICAN houses, Ebil. Why would one be hufflepuff? Maybe you are a fox. Cunning, smart, LOYAL. Foxes stay with one mate all their life, in loff. If that ain’t loyalty, i don’t know what is.

The bear, bird, and wolf ain’t got that. Be a fox. Be strong. Be cunning. Be loyal. Be you and never let anyone crush you because while people only see cute and sneaky. You know who you are, and will not break.

Wolfthorn

Crest Animal- Timber Wolf

Colors- Blue and Silver.

Element- Water

Season- Winter

Qualities- Selflessness, Responsibility, Teamwork

Those of the Wolfthorn house value Teamwork and Selflessness over any of the other houses. Like the wolf members of this house learn to attack problems as a singular unit towards a common goal. Each member works to understand each other equally and play to each other’s strengths. In order to do so each house member must remember to serve each other and not themselves, selflessness in teamwork to keep others at the forefront of their mind is the basic key element to any collective strategy. 

House Ghost- Patient Pamuy. 

The house ghost of Wolfthorn is a Hopi woman in her late teens, once the highly revered medicine woman of her village. When the soldiers from the east came in being both Native American and a pracitioner of ‘black magic’ as the soldier, she was the first to die in her village. After a series of gruesome acts commited on her. Now she roams the halls, patiently assisting the members of her house in herbology as it was always a love of her people to be in touch with nature to heal those around her. 

Hawkridge

Crest Animal- Ferruginous Hawk

Colors- Gold and Black

Element- Air

Season- Spring

Qualities- Honesty, Intelligence, Patience

Like the hawk members of this house are patient and intelligent, always waiting for an opportunity to prove their intelligence with their brilliant plans and tactics. Like the hawk this house is sharp and quick with their wit. However, you will never have to know what these house members are thinking as they will let you know, they believe that honesty and intelligence go hand in hand since evidence and truth go hand in hand. The members of this house are very black and white and treat justice with openness. Lying and false information will get you on this house’s bad side quickly.

House Ghost- Confident Cruz

Once a proud Mestizo man in the Mexican Army, he now spends his days confidently recalling the events leading up to his death. Never failing to include each and every individual detail up until the moment of his death. He is proud that he fought for Mexico and for the land of his ancestors against white invaders. When talked to he will talk about Mexico as his proud homeland with nothing but glory and love for his home. Anytime a student has their history incorrect or twisted with the glorification of ‘settlers’ he will quickly and sternly correct them on who the invaders were, and who’s land belonged to who. He will not tolerate lies and false information of the accounts of his people and the basis for the fighting of his territory. However if asked about his military days he will more than likely start rattling off from childhood of admiring his strong father to his days as a soldier. He also enjoys teaching those who are interested in his culture and tries to get as many students interested in Dia de les Muertos. 

Foxcrest

Crest Animal- Red Fox

Colors- Red and White

Element- Fire

Season- Autumn

Qualities- Loyalty, Cunning, Resourcefulness

The cunning trickster, is what most think of when they hear of the fox. The trickster who deceives men and dogs in order to live. However, what you might not think of is loyalty a fox has one mate for their entire life and remains loyal every season even though they are apart. Like the fox members of this house pride themselves on the loyalty to their friends and family. Willing to go to any and all lengths to protect their loved ones and ensure their happiness. Members of this house are also cunning and resourceful, they will find as many ways as they can to keep their head above the water with their loved ones. Because, no one can look after their significants quite like they can. A Foxcrest will do all that they can to succeed in the name of their loved ones, and in their honor.

House Ghost- One-Eyed Jacqueline Thibodeaux.

Once a proud voodoo queen in Louisiana this woman lived with pride and loyalty to her home of Zimbabwe. After being forcibly removed from her lands, brought to Haiti, and then to Mississippi as a slave. She used not only her skill in voodoo magick to escape, but her loyalty with the other slaves on her plantation. To escape the cruelty of the plantation, her and many other slaves escaped on the underground railroad. Using both her magic and cunning she was able to escape with her friends and what remained of her family from the horrors of plantation life to Louisiana where she made a name for herself with her voodoo. Becoming a highly regarded voodoo queen she then helped those with an inclination to magick to help free her brothers and sisters trapped on plantations and then giving them refugee in her home. Soon though, news of her operation spread. Using her divination skills she found of the plot to kill her and the escaped slaves, though she could only save herself and not the newly freed men and women, or save them and not herself. She made the quick choice to save them over herself, and stood her ground where she fought tooth and nail with her magick to ensure the survival of her brothers and sisters. She however lost the fight when a white man pulled a gun and ultimate shot her in the eye by sheer dumb luck. She is both a gentle, and helpful ghost who also ensures that students are well aware of the dishonor and torture she went through in the Americas. When asked for help she always seems to know that you were going to ask for help and appears to you before you have to go and find her.

Bearglove

Crest Animal- Grizzly Bear

Colors- Green and Tan

Element- Earth

Season- Summer

Qualities- Bravery, Curiosity, Leadership

Last but certainly not least the home of the bears. Bears are not the naturally aggressive creature but however are curious and have a hierarchy amongst their species. Just like the bear members of this house are known for their fighting skills and bravery, but are also extremely curious. Members of this house exhibit leadership characterstics and always fight for the top of the chain in any event or subject they’re in. Their competitve drive can sometimes lead to hotheadedness and aggressive outbursts with the other students giving them their bear qualities. Loud, boisterous, and certainly commanding students of Bearglove do not have a hard time making a name for themselves in someway shape or form.

House Ghost- ‘Doc’ Thomas Benton

Among the house ghosts he is the most resented, due to his megalomaniac attitude and his past as a serial killer. While in medschool in the 1920’s he sought any and all information to eternal youth as the drive to be the best in his field and to never die to pass on his superior knowledge. No one knows the true nature of his evil some say it was trauma others say it lied in wait. If you ask the other house ghost they will tell you that he was evil from the start and to his very core. While he was alive he under strange circumstances became a hermit, and soon dead animals were found on his land with strange markings carved into them. And then the farmer’s daughter went missing in his town. When townspeople found him he had carved strange markings on her and was mumbling in an incorherent language before tossing her off a cliff. Everytime he’s asked about his death he gives a new story each time, about the scars on his face. The other ghosts say it was one of his evil experiments done onto himself after the town found him killing the farmer’s daughter, in an attempt to save his own life.

Location of  Lavaeudeen ,the Waverly Hills Sanitarium. 

Built in 1910 and expanded to the enormous abandoned hulk it is today in 1924, Waverly Hills Sanitarium was opened to house tuberculosis patients as an isolation hospital. Doctors at the hospital carried out painful experimental surgeries to treat the disease, often with bloody results. One surgery of last resort involved opening the chest cavity to insert balloons into the lungs and another involved removing ribs to allow the lungs to expand. As many as 64,000 people who were admitted to the hospital died there over the years, and at least one employee is reputed to have hung herself in the laundry room on the fourth floor in the 1930s. Those who passed away at Waverly Hills were moved through the morgue and out of the hospital through the body chute that led cadavers out the back out of sight of the patients. Most of the hospital, including the morgue and body chute, remain intact today.

Or so the muggles think, with this story and the appearance by use of charms to give this school an abandoned look it becomes the hot topic of muggle ghost hunters. Allowing students to use the charms they learned in school and a bit of leg room for the ghosts. Strange occurances that are reported by ghost hunters are just your magical children having a bit of fun. When the hospital was abandoned, magical folk sought out a place to teach and form the magical youth of America. Under the guise of ‘helping mental patients’ they sent letters to families with ‘peculiar’ children to save them from the horrors of the muggle insane aslyums. As these asylums phased out the school kept up with appearances and altered the charms to make the muggles see a more and more decrepit abandoned building.

Behind the Name of the School- As a tribute to America’s very own famous voodoo queen and a desire to pass on magick the school was named for Marie Lavaeu

 #watch me actually buy this fucking deodorant cause of this      (ohhhvienna)

harry potter fandom, god bless

The only acceptable single American wizarding school headcanon.