- you can fix any illness or injury by humming to yourself
- nobody should be alone in the bathroom, ever
- if you’re scared of someone, just fluff up your hair real big and they’ll probably leave you alone
- when you pee on something, you own that thing. congratulations! property is urine
- if it makes a sound like food, it is definitely food and you should try to eat it no matter what
- hitting someone in the face is an appropriate way to thank them for doing your hair
- when your friend is sad, sitting on top of them will make them feel better
- if a gross dude is trying to have sex with you and you’re not into it, just shrug your shoulders and walk a few feet away and he’ll forget what he was doing entirely
- missed the toilet? it’s ok. just kick some tp over it and nobody will know the difference. it’s also ok if you don’t even manage to cover it up as long as you tried
- when you have leftovers, scratching the table around your dish will keep them fresh and tasty until you’re ready to eat again
- if you are lonely and want affection, headbutting your best friend at full force is the best way to let them know you want to hang out
- jealous because someone else is getting all the love? berate them until they leave the room. the other person will then be happy to immediately transfer their affection to you
- silently and grimly kicking your brother in the stomach is a fun way to spend an afternoon
- there is no limit to the number of times gravity can be discovered
- it’s very important to keep yourself hydrated! find the stupidest possible way to drink water and do that. make sure to get your neck nice and wet for no real reason
- when you’re finished styling your coif in the morning, remember to eat the hair you’ve combed out for a morning pick-me-up snack
- doors should never be closed. if a door is closed it is a terrible mistake and must be remedied immediately by screaming at your mom
- taking a shortcut to your favorite restaurant means that the restaurant will be an entirely different place by the time you get there
- for a dramatic and loveable makeup look, wing both your top and bottom eyeliner all the way out to your ears and then draw a little “m” on your forehead
- when it’s time to take the edge off, scatter your favorite drug on the floor and just roll around in it until you drool
- need exercise? do sprint laps of your house at three in the morning. don’t worry about knocking things over! your health is more important than that ming vase.
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life hacks from cats
Thank you, I needed the cat rules explaining again.
life hacks from cats
- you can fix any illness or injury by humming to yourself
- nobody should be alone in the bathroom, ever
- if you’re scared of someone, just fluff up your hair real big and they’ll probably leave you alone
- when you pee on something, you own that thing. congratulations! property is urine
- if it makes a sound like food, it is definitely food and you should try to eat it no matter what
- hitting someone in the face is an appropriate way to thank them for doing your hair
- when your friend is sad, sitting on top of them will make them feel better
- if a gross dude is trying to have sex with you and you’re not into it, just shrug your shoulders and walk a few feet away and he’ll forget what he was doing entirely
- missed the toilet? it’s ok. just kick some tp over it and nobody will know the difference. it’s also ok if you don’t even manage to cover it up as long as you tried
- when you have leftovers, scratching the table around your dish will keep them fresh and tasty until you’re ready to eat again
- if you are lonely and want affection, headbutting your best friend at full force is the best way to let them know you want to hang out
- jealous because someone else is getting all the love? berate them until they leave the room. the other person will then be happy to immediately transfer their affection to you
- silently and grimly kicking your brother in the stomach is a fun way to spend an afternoon
- there is no limit to the number of times gravity can be discovered
- it’s very important to keep yourself hydrated! find the stupidest possible way to drink water and do that. make sure to get your neck nice and wet for no real reason
- when you’re finished styling your coif in the morning, remember to eat the hair you’ve combed out for a morning pick-me-up snack
- doors should never be closed. if a door is closed it is a terrible mistake and must be remedied immediately by screaming at your mom
- taking a shortcut to your favorite restaurant means that the restaurant will be an entirely different place by the time you get there
- for a dramatic and loveable makeup look, wing both your top and bottom eyeliner all the way out to your ears and then draw a little “m” on your forehead
- when it’s time to take the edge off, scatter your favorite drug on the floor and just roll around in it until you drool
- need exercise? do sprint laps of your house at three in the morning. don’t worry about knocking things over! your health is more important than that ming vase.
Thank you, I needed the cat rules explaining again.
life hacks from cats
- you can fix any illness or injury by humming to yourself
- nobody should be alone in the bathroom, ever
- if you’re scared of someone, just fluff up your hair real big and they’ll probably leave you alone
- when you pee on something, you own that thing. congratulations! property is urine
- if it makes a sound like food, it is definitely food and you should try to eat it no matter what
- hitting someone in the face is an appropriate way to thank them for doing your hair
- when your friend is sad, sitting on top of them will make them feel better
- if a gross dude is trying to have sex with you and you’re not into it, just shrug your shoulders and walk a few feet away and he’ll forget what he was doing entirely
- missed the toilet? it’s ok. just kick some tp over it and nobody will know the difference. it’s also ok if you don’t even manage to cover it up as long as you tried
- when you have leftovers, scratching the table around your dish will keep them fresh and tasty until you’re ready to eat again
- if you are lonely and want affection, headbutting your best friend at full force is the best way to let them know you want to hang out
- jealous because someone else is getting all the love? berate them until they leave the room. the other person will then be happy to immediately transfer their affection to you
- silently and grimly kicking your brother in the stomach is a fun way to spend an afternoon
- there is no limit to the number of times gravity can be discovered
- it’s very important to keep yourself hydrated! find the stupidest possible way to drink water and do that. make sure to get your neck nice and wet for no real reason
- when you’re finished styling your coif in the morning, remember to eat the hair you’ve combed out for a morning pick-me-up snack
- doors should never be closed. if a door is closed it is a terrible mistake and must be remedied immediately by screaming at your mom
- taking a shortcut to your favorite restaurant means that the restaurant will be an entirely different place by the time you get there
- for a dramatic and loveable makeup look, wing both your top and bottom eyeliner all the way out to your ears and then draw a little “m” on your forehead
- when it’s time to take the edge off, scatter your favorite drug on the floor and just roll around in it until you drool
- need exercise? do sprint laps of your house at three in the morning. don’t worry about knocking things over! your health is more important than that ming vase.
Thank you, I needed the cat rules explaining again.
life hacks from cats
- you can fix any illness or injury by humming to yourself
- nobody should be alone in the bathroom, ever
- if you’re scared of someone, just fluff up your hair real big and they’ll probably leave you alone
- when you pee on something, you own that thing. congratulations! property is urine
- if it makes a sound like food, it is definitely food and you should try to eat it no matter what
- hitting someone in the face is an appropriate way to thank them for doing your hair
- when your friend is sad, sitting on top of them will make them feel better
- if a gross dude is trying to have sex with you and you’re not into it, just shrug your shoulders and walk a few feet away and he’ll forget what he was doing entirely
- missed the toilet? it’s ok. just kick some tp over it and nobody will know the difference. it’s also ok if you don’t even manage to cover it up as long as you tried
- when you have leftovers, scratching the table around your dish will keep them fresh and tasty until you’re ready to eat again
- if you are lonely and want affection, headbutting your best friend at full force is the best way to let them know you want to hang out
- jealous because someone else is getting all the love? berate them until they leave the room. the other person will then be happy to immediately transfer their affection to you
- silently and grimly kicking your brother in the stomach is a fun way to spend an afternoon
- there is no limit to the number of times gravity can be discovered
- it’s very important to keep yourself hydrated! find the stupidest possible way to drink water and do that. make sure to get your neck nice and wet for no real reason
- when you’re finished styling your coif in the morning, remember to eat the hair you’ve combed out for a morning pick-me-up snack
- doors should never be closed. if a door is closed it is a terrible mistake and must be remedied immediately by screaming at your mom
- taking a shortcut to your favorite restaurant means that the restaurant will be an entirely different place by the time you get there
- for a dramatic and loveable makeup look, wing both your top and bottom eyeliner all the way out to your ears and then draw a little “m” on your forehead
- when it’s time to take the edge off, scatter your favorite drug on the floor and just roll around in it until you drool
- need exercise? do sprint laps of your house at three in the morning. don’t worry about knocking things over! your health is more important than that ming vase.
Thank you, I needed the cat rules explaining again.
Stranger Than Fiction
JD-
In my spare time I like comprising lists of works of fiction that make far more sense knowing the wizarding world exists. Willy Wonka was obviously a wizard. Marry Poppins, witch. Doctor Dolittle was just a parseltongue on steroids.
The Picture of Dorian Gray becomes a very interesting read when you realize it’s about a guy who accidentally created a horcrux.
You hear all these “you’re not a real fan unless” and it lists a hundred things, but I met a dude today who saw my Deadpool pin and asked what my favorite story arc was, and I explained that while I loved Deadpool, I was new to Marvel (I only really got into it a year and a half ago) and hadn’t been able to find a lot of the comics. Instead of making a face or a derogatory comment, he just offered to send me all the stuff he had. That is a true fan.
I told the guy at the comic shop when I went in for Black Widow that I’d seen a few Harley Quinn panels on Tumblr and thought it looked badass but didn’t know where to start because my entire involvement in DC fandom was watching the Batman cartoon as a kid. This guy sitting at one of the tables playing Yu-Gi-Oh, wearing a comic shirt and carrying a definitely-hardcore-fan amount of swag, spins around and goes “dude! You’ve never read DC? Check out the back issues wall. They’ve got all kinds of Harley Quinn.” He then proceeded to explain how “New 52″ was a spinoff, and had some split opinions in the fandom, but either continuity is good as long as you pick one and stay with it so you don’t get mixed on what’s going on.
True fans love to see other people loving the stuff they love.
See how easy it is to be “that cool person who helped me get into X” instead of “that asshole who made me feel bad for not knowing everything about X”?
IT’S NOT EVEN DIFFICULT TO NOT BE A SHITLORD. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. And you never had one.
Again for the people in the back.
“IT’S NOT EVEN DIFFICULT TO NOT BE A SHITLORD. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.”
my dream is to live in a place where cute forest critters wander into my yard and make friends with my pets