Author, Speaker, Artist
“I want real talk,” my friend said to me the other day. “You’re so good at helping me figure out the answer on my own, but give me your straight shooting honest opinion. Tell me what to do.”
“Well, I don’t know what you should do,” I said. “Only you do. So I’ll ask questions to guide you there.”
We both smiled.
The entire purpose of providing advice is to guide someone to clarity. To awaken them to their right path, illuminate what’s holding them back, and support them in experiencing a breakthrough.
This often has little to do with our opinions and past experiences.
It has far more to do with our ability to listen empathetically and to ask probing questions, so they discover what to do next on their own.
This doesn’t happen through telling people what we think they should do. It’s rarely a list of 5 steps to achieve a desired outcome. And it’s never about us, and always about them.
The next time someone asks you for advice, get curious. Ask questions. Guide them to finding the answers on their own. It’s far more sustainable that way.
xoxo
Amber
p.s. If you ever find yourself at a loss for what to say or do, ask: "How can I support you?“ Let them tell you what they need.
–
Heart this post? Tweet it!
Thanks to Melissa for inspiring the post and reading the draft.
Want updates in your inbox? Subscribe!