It’s funny, how words can be felt differently. But to me, “I miss you” is being said too often without the emotion. “I miss you” is becoming more like “I miss you, but not you.”

I hate how this phrase seems like it’s been thrown around easily from one another. I hate it because you never know how much saying “I miss you” can really mean to someone. But when nothing is done to show the “I miss you,” it starts to hurt. Every “I miss you” starts to trigger a pain in your mind and in your chest. Like a gun shot of “I miss you,” iconically speaking but the bullet doesn’t miss you. You are hit with every shot. And you stand there confused. Conflicted. Unsure of what “I miss you” means anymore. Because every single “I miss you” will come at you, but nothing is done to prevent it.

Yeah I know it goes both ways, but if the one receiving the “I miss you” is already damaged, what can you really expect? We stand there because we are watching who we once admire, who we once befriended, shoot you constantly. Pulling the trigger of “I miss you” But does absolutely nothing to save you.

And so you stand there, looking at all your wounds, and see that the person you once love hurt you. They probably don’t even know that they are hurting you, since they are too busy actually avoiding to pull the trigger on someone else.

So please, stop telling me you miss me. It hurts to hear those words that once comforted me. I’m sick of being shot with it but never being saved. So please if you really miss me, do something about it.

1:43am || 9/12/16

• sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you
  
• walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass
• sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale
  
• drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out
  
• stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses
• eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all
• look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself