Anonymous asked: Hey, Hobbit? Do you think being a stone top is a form of asexuality?
I’m not a stone top myself, but having dated a few of them, I would say no. The stone tops I’ve known (and those I’ve dated dated) have all been sexually attracted to people, interested in sex, and very much enjoyed having it. They just didn’t want THEIR genitals touched or, in some cases, looked at. That’s not at all the same as not experiencing sexual attraction to other people, which is what I understand asexuality to be.
There are people who identify as both, and who may perceive an affinity between those identities for themselves. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that being a stone top is “a form of” asexuality though, because that wording to me suggests that one is a subset of the other. As a stone top, I am most definitely not also asexual. In fact, until I understood my stoneness, I was coming much closer to identifying as asexual (or at least greysexual) because sex as I understood it up to that point was always somehow unappealing to me and I thought that might be the reason.
(Which is not to say that asexuality is what happens when people haven’t had the “right” sex yet. It was just my experience that I was exploring if the asexual label fit me, and it turned out it didn’t.)
