I want to wear matching outfits with it and take it out in a stroller and have people tell me how lucky I am to have such an adorable cider. They’ll tell me that they think he looks like me and I’ll say something like, “You think? I think he looks more like his father.” Mothers will look at me in awe, wondering how I so effortlessly balance work and family while still managing to look stylish.

I’ll be the poster child for moms of cider but underneath it all, I have a deep-seated problem…a drinking problem. I’m slowly drinking away the child whom I love but I can’t help myself: I’m really thirsty. With my lack of willpower, I try to continue as if nothing is wrong but I've virtually emptied Cider of everything that made him who he was and all that remains is a skeleton of his former self. I’m hoping that his father won’t notice if I just continue to go about my daily routine and add some water with food coloring to Cider’s jug but I know that my deceit will soon be discovered.

I was discovered. Cider’s father began to suspect something when he saw that I wasn’t putting Cider in the refrigerator over night. When I wasn't around, he took the top off of Cider to smell him and realized that there was nothing left. I came home from work that day to a puddle of dyed water on the kitchen floor. When I turned the corner into the dining room, I was horrified to find my husband curled up on the floor in the fetal position with Cider’s container in his arms. I tried to rationalize with my husband, “We’ll be fine without him, we have some Sunny D in the fridge,” but it was to no avail.

We had Cider’s remains dipped in gold and they rest atop our mantelpiece. My husband looks at them from time to time, always followed by a sideways glance in my direction and a longing sigh. I will forever live with the guilt of what I did to our family. I know that I cannot change what I did, but I am happy to report that I made the decision to obtain my hydration through an IV from now on. I hope that anyone reading this might learn from my story.