BattleBlog

MADONNA participated in a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) last night, in which she fielded a whole bunch of questions from fans in real time. (She hasn’t completely become “one of us,” though; don’t fret. When asked if she was typing the answers herself, she responded, “i’m vacuuming the housekeeper is typing.”)

That sardonic dryness pervaded the entire Q&A. No vagaries or platitudes, so prevalent these days among the pop star set, here; Madonna, refreshingly, responded with the caustic directness of your most blunt friend at Sunday brunch. […]

• She would “love to work” with Daft Punk; she’s “just waiting for them to return [her] call.”
• The most recent dream she remembers having? “Brad Pitt and I were living together and there was a small blonde child in the bed. Sorry Angelina, it was only a dream.”
• How does she calm down when she gets angry? “I dont its a hot mess.”
• When asked, saucily, “Where should I put these hydrangeas?” Madonna responded, “up your ass.”
• If she could “turn” any gay man straight, it would be Frank Ocean (she also cited Frank and Jay-Z’s “Oceans” as her favorite song of the moment).
• When asked a question that began “If you were a gay man…” she immediately responded “i am a gay man.”’
• Would she ever “wear a disguise and go to Walmart”? “id just go to walmart and not wear a disguise.”
• To a ballsy fan who asked what they need to do to score a date, she responded with the simple “send photo.”

And in perhaps her most succinct message for the current crop of pop stars (and one they’d take well to heed), Madonna had this to say when asked why she thinks some people “have such a hard time wrapping their head” around her actions: “because i don’t explain everything nor do i feel the need to.”