Fridge Analysis
Dear Stonehill,
Obsessed with your blog! What do you think of yours truly?
-Kerry
Stonehill Analysis
Lets face it…we’re all dating detectives. Some of us might judge a date by their shoes. Or their car. Or the books on their shelves. I find our fridge to be the most revealing.
Now, whatever method we choose, we need something to judge in the first place. If you judge your date by the clothes they wear, well, you need to see their clothes. It’s great if they’re naked, but a challenge if wardrobe evaluation is your thing.
I bring this up as I chose to analyze a fridge today that doesn’t give us much to work with. The owner is a woman, but we’re flying in the fog here. It’d be great if Rudolph popped in with his shiny nose to light up all the fridge contents, but Rudolph is on vaca this time of year, so we’re on our own.
And this happens to be part of life. In whatever we’re doing, we don’t always have all the info we’d like. So I thought it’d be a fun exercise to analyze what we can with only a few decipherable products.
Here’s what we know:
• The fridge has digital temperature readouts and humidity control veggie drawers. This puts her fridge above average in cost, and thus, a strong clue that her income is above average as well.
• She has a pot of leftovers in her fridge rather than putting her leftovers in Tupperware. This tells me that she’s not a neat freak, having a crazy week, or a tad lazy. Her fridge is not a mess, but it’s not organized either, so I have to assume other areas of her life are the same way. Her fridge does look clean though, so I have to assume she’s good on the hygiene front.
• She has Imperial Margarine, which tells me she’s Canadian. Holy shit Stonehill, how do you know this? Just a bit of homework. Imperial is a brand owned by Unilever and distributed in Canada, not the US.
• She has Adams Natural Peanut Butter. It’s owned by Smuckers, but it does show she’s a bit of a foodie. She has to refrigerate her peanut butter and stir it before eating, something only foodies would be willing to do.
• She has Tropicana Orange Juice. This is I like to see as it’s one of my favorite brands. It’s not from concentrate, tastes delish and stays fresh far longer than fresh squeezed. It’s also more expensive than most brands (outside of fresh squeezed), and one more clue on the income front.
• She has a stealthy stash of eggs, reinforcing that Kerry is big on Breakfast. As I don’t see other ingredients for baking or a stash of ground chuck for meatloaf, eggs for a breakfast dish is a logical conclusion.
• Kerry cooks. This one’s a layup, as she has a pot full of some mystery dish. When it comes down to it, you don’t really save much cooking if it’s only for 1 or 2 peeps. From the healthy stash of condiments, she dines on takeout too, but I get the feeling she cooks for more than just budgetary reasons.
That’s really all we got. The pic pixilates when I try to zoom in for other details. Which brings us to…
Fridge Dating Scorecard
Shag on first date: NA
This is a 1st for me, but as I’m unable to see so many pieces of this fridge, it’s hard for me to gauge her on the shagability front
I don’t see a ton of junk food here, but I can’t really decipher any healthy food either. Whatever shape this girl is in, what’s most important is how comfortable she is with her own body.
I also don’t see booze. She’s Canadian and with those winters, a cozy pub with a drink in your hand sounds pretty awesome. If she has alcohol, it can help nudge her to some naughtiness, but it’s a mystery.
Marry: NA
Again, it’s tough to tell. I do like the fact she has a productive career, and no one loves a fresh home cooked meal more than me. But I can’t see enough on the health and lifestyle fronts. 1 key to a successful marriage to continue putting your best foot forward (and not take your partner for granted), but I don’t have enough clues here.
Boil your Bunny: 3
There are a couple red flags, but nothing conclusive. Her middle shelf is a bit chaotic. And as we know, chaos in one’s fridge usually equals chaos in one’s life. But this fridge doesn’t reek of stalker.
Find me on
eM