WeltamSonntag 4

I was featured in Welt AM Sonntag, the largest Sunday paper in Germany. Working with the talented Susanne Kaloff, I broke down the fridges of 4 eligible German bachelors.

Here’s part 4 of a 4 part series…

I’m not a brilliant man, but I’m pretty sure there are a few things we can all agree on:
1. The Germans know how to make Bratwurst.
2. Heidi Klum is hot.
3. Never buy generic ketchup.

I’m sorry, but if you can’t afford the extra 86 cents for Heinz, move back in with your parents.

“Good and Cheap” ketchup?? A homeless person can do better than that. Any brand that says it’s “Good and Cheap” is usually right about only one thing: it’s cheap. Their original slogan was “Cheap and Shit” but they weren’t moving any units, so they tried “Good” in its place.

As we all know, eating and drinking is our main dating activity. So what’s in our fridge reveals a lot about who we are and how compatible we are with someone.

You usually get what you pay for and generic is a cheaper version of an attempt to taste like the brand. What’s in our fridge will eventually be in us.

If someone buys everything cheap, no matter what their income is, they’re most likely not just scrimping on food, but also everything else. And lets face it…cheap people are not sexy. A generic or two is one thing, but across the board is a no-no.

Unfortunately, Fridge 4 is mostly going generic across the board. Now, this guy might be just starting out in his career, or in between jobs. Nothing is definitive from checking their fridge. He also might be the greatest guy I never met. It’s just from what I see on the dating front, he might not be in the best place to settle down right now.

His yogurt is generic, Prosecco low-end and though I give him kudos below for salami and cheese, he’s not buying quality brands. Also in this pool are his wieners, paella and water.

Every brand we buy has a target demo and a media plan. So when we see certain brands in our fridge, we get clues about us from our sex to age range, the pubs we read to the shows we watch.

Now, I don’t know what’s going on with that cabbage thingy, but it looks more at home in the movie Shrek than in this guy’s refrigerator.

When I look at this fridge, I also don’t see a guy eating very healthy. I can’t say his belly enters the room a minute before the rest of him, but there are a few concerns.

He’s got products like Rama Culinesse. There are health benefits to this product, none of which are to help to keep you skinny. To his credit, it’s a sign he cooks, which is datable quality. Plus, he does have a couple veggies in there, which is great, and mustard and balsamcio are healthy condiments.

He has 1 salad dressing and it may be light, but it’s still cream based and he’s got plenty of butter. And the last time I saw this many wieners in one place, it was in my gym’s locker room.

Now, I can assume with the bottles of water in the fridge, he uses them to work out. I just choose not to ;) There’s not much further evidence that exercise is high up on his to-do list.

As I’d like to end on a positive note, I do see a few here…

• On the dating front, it’s a good move that he has a frozen entrée on standby in his freezer.

• With both mustard and ketchup, it is a sign grills, which is a quality I like to see.

• His fridge is not inspiring, but I give him credit for being date ready. Salami and cheese might not be offered on the Weight Watchers menu, but they’re great shareable foods to kick off a date with. Paired with that Prosecco, his fridge has suddenly fueled his pad to be a solid pit stop before dinner.

• For when he does get lucky, I’m glad to see he has tools to make breakfast. Though the last time I saw eggs that big, I was watching Jurassic Park.

I don’t know if I’d equate this fridge with the short yellow bus to school, but it’s pretty far from sexy. As I touch on above, it just depends on where the girl is in her life. Whether we like it or not, dating very much is about timing.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on 1st Date: 4

With the evidence in front of us, the odds are this guy is not in the best of shape. That doesn’t mean he’s not a catch, nor does it mean he’s stuck at home alone watching YouPorn. But it lessens the odds that he’s closing on the first date.

One special quality about women (which is strange to us men) is that they can truly fall in love with a man they’re not attracted to. It just takes a bit longer to build this bridge.

Plus, as he’s going generic on most products, it’s by no means a deal breaker, but this, along with his not too sexy fridge, tells me he doesn’t have the financial resources to pull out the big guns on date 1.

Marriage: 3.5

A man who cooks is not an automatic keeper, but it is a good quality and I’ll bump him up a bit for it. I also give him credit for being date ready.

My concerns are that he’s not putting his best foot forward on the health front and as I touch on above, if he’s not in shape now, the odds are he’ll look even worse when married.

As he has a starter fridge, nothing’s definite, but it raises the odds that he’s starting out in his career. If so, he might be in a position where his career comes first. I was the same way when I was younger. The result though is that he’s just not in a place right now to settle down.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 2.5

To this dude’s credit, I see nothing here that says stalker. Yes, he can take better care of a few items, but his fridge is relatively clean, no chaos and he’s not hoarding.

Plus, he looks like he’s making the effort to cater to guests. Stalkers and serial killers usually have more on their mind to focus on such things.

And lets face it: stalking can be very expensive. This guy just doesn’t have the resources right now.

6Medium, Male, Dating, Relationships, Love, Marriage, Advice, Insight, Humor, Funny, Quote, Food, Drink, Cocktails, Refrigerator, Germany, Welt,