#DateTipTuesdays
Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge
Get to the ‘No’
One of the hardest and most important lessons I learned in sales is get to the ‘No’. Meaning, if a lead is not going to buy, don’t waste time and move on to the next one.
It’s the same with Dating.
Now, whether it comes to sales or dating, we instinctually want to keep hope alive. What we often need in life is the chance of success. And with that chance, we feel like we’re doing better, cause we have more chances.
But if there’s no real possibility there, we’re lessening our chances.
What I learned in sales is that if it’s going to be a ‘no’, the sooner you know, the better, so you can move on to the next lead. You don’t want to cut off a lead prematurely, but if you know what to look for, it doesn’t take long to gauge whether or not there’s true potential.
Again, same thing with dating. We often let emotion get in the way and resist getting to the ‘no’, even when deep down inside, we know we’ll end up there.
Before I got married, the longest relationship I had in my life was a year and a half. That’s surprising to some people. To me, what’s surprising is when people date for 2 years or more when what they want marriage out of the relationship.
A girlfriend I had in my 20’s said to me after a year that if deep down inside, I knew I was not going to marry her, to please love and respect her enough to tell her and let her move on. To waste her time would be the most selfish thing I could have done. And we broke up soon after. (She was married to someone else a year later, which I was happy to see)
If someone is clearly not right for you, you don’t need more than a year to know it. And I can’t tell you how many endless stories I’ve heard about people not getting what they want out of a relationship and letting it drag on for years. Most of the time, it ends up in the same place…over.
So when it comes to the valuable, precious time you have to date and find the one, approach it like sales. Get to the ‘no’ if it’s not right and only give those who have a realistic shot of giving you what you want out of life the time they deserve.
Now, there are exceptions to every rule and I’ve heard how people have stuck around for years and it worked out. But for the most part, it doesn’t. And if they got to the ‘no’ (or ‘yes’) earlier, they might have ended up married earlier as well.
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