Medicine Cabinet

Stonehill

Love your blog, man. I always checked a girl’s medicine cabinet, especially in NY and felt like that was the perfect gauge.

I know you’re the fridge master, but can you analyze this medicine cabinet for me??

Thanks!

-Bob

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Bob,

They say eyes are the windows to their soul.

Well, medicine cabinets can be the windows to their sanity.

The fact is, we’re all dating detectives and we all have our methods to analyze a prospect. I’ve always felt a fridge is the most revealing, but a medicine cabinet is a close second.

The tricky thing can be most medicine cabinets are harder to access than a fridge. By no means are we talking Mission Impossible here, but if they have more than one bathroom, you’ll most likely need to pass the slap & tickle phase of the relationship to gain entry to their master.

As you’ve already done the heavy lifting here, count me in. CTF is about finding and analyzing clues that reveal probable truths about a person.

So lets dive in…

Zoloft

We’re all a little crazy. But there’s wacky pack and there’s wacky-wacky pack. Your lady is the latter. Some of my dearest friends have been on anti-depressants. My first love was even bipolar. And I can say from that experience that there are challenges that come with it.

By no means should it be a deal breaker, but a relationship will probably be more of a roller coaster ride (which some people are attracted to).

Xanax

I personally take sleeping pills, more so when travelling overseas, occasionally while home and I can say from experience that Xanax rocks. But it can be abused, which would negatively affect your life with this person. Keep an eye on how often she takes Mother’s Little Helper.

The cabinet itself

She’s making moola. The wall tile, marble backsplash and counter, plus fixtures tell me this is a coop or condo building. By the look of it, I’d guess pre-war. I’ve seen plenty of ladies living large on daddy’s dime, but they’re usually in rental buildings so they’re not tied down til Mr. Spesh comes along.

Thus, I’d assume your lady has a solid career. Money can’t buy happiness, but it helps. And it also helps that she has a career, a trait I like. Gives you more to talk about at night.

Now, it might not be as crowded as China, but it can pass for the 6 train. She’s either outgrown her space, or has to purge. Like our fridge, chaos in one’s medicine cabinet usually equals chaos in one’s life. This is by no means a shit-show, but it does need some cleaning and organization.

ReNew Life

She’s looking out for her digestive health, which is a good thing. As Jamie Lee Curtis likes to remind us, a regular woman is a happy one.

Calamine lotion

This is a good sign she’s outdoorsy. If she was spending most of her time inside, I don’t think she’d go out of her way to treat mosquito bites.

Beauty products

This is not the most righ-rez pic so I can’t decipher everything in here, but she does have a shitload of skin products. This I like to see. If she’s not taking care of her looks when she’s single, she’ll most likely look huda when married.

She’s got enough serums, creams, potions, lotions, and brushes to rival a Korean nail salon.

Lastly, she’s Brand Conscious

I can’t see most of the brands, which would be revealing, but I’m glad to see she’s going with name brands like Tylenol, Theraflu and Advil. This tells me she’s most likely brand conscious in other areas of her life as well.

Medicine Cabinet Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 5
In He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not fashion, lets pretend we have 2 petals left on a flower…

She’ll Bang You…cause she has a busy career, so if she wants to no-pants-dance, she doesn’t have much time to play games.

She’ll Bang You Not…cause I don’t see the pill. She might keep it in her bedside table, but if she’s not on the pill, it lessens a visit to Titillation Town on date 1. She also has no other allies in here, such as condoms or KY.

Marry: 5.5
It’s promising to see she’s financially sound, has a thriving career and is taking care of her health and looks.

I’m not crazy about the fact that her life seems a bit chaotic and along with anti-depressants, it’s important that she’s responsible enough to take her medication.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 6
It’s easy to say we’re dealing with a Bunny Boiler here. If it was meds alone, the number would be lower, as half of NY is on them. Adding in the messy med cab is what brings us up to yellow alert.

I’d like to stress, she does have a ton going for her and she might very well be the catch of NY, or at the very least, insanely fun to get naked with. So my recommendation is to tread onward, just make it lightly.

6Medium, Female, Mustbang, Dating, Relationships, Love, Advice, Insight, Date, Medicine, Quotes, Humor, funny,